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Dave Schwartz
01-30-2007, 09:45 AM
(I am writing this so that I may share my pain.)

For several days I have been chasing the quiet sound of chirping birds in my office. I do not have great hearing and the slight periodic chirps have been driving me nuts.

Every once in awhile I would stop what I was doing and lsten quietly in order to determine direction. Our NOC is just behind me and I assumed that it might be a failing hard drive. So, one by one, I would put my ear next to each machine and just listen. I have done this perhaps 5 times. Never have I heard a single sound as I did so.

Back to work. A little while later, "Chirp, chirp."

I thought it might be my chair and spent the better part of 30 minutes turning and tilting the chair in every direction. Not a sound while I did so.

Then I thought it was my ceiling fan. I would stop working and listen from different places in the room. Nothing.

Yesterday I concluded it must really be a bird's nest, but where? I checked the eves outside my window but saw and heard nothing.

We have a two-story house and I began thinking the birds were between the floors - just above my office. Listening carefully, nothing.

Aggghhh!


Today I noticed an interesting thing... whenever I get up from my desk the chirping stops. Could the birds actually see me? When I move, do they suddenly go silent for safety reasons?

So, here I was, at 5am, working pretending to work diligently at my desk. Yup. The chirping is there. Stop and look around, the chirping stops. Start... chirp, chirp. Stop... silence.

Can these birds be this smart? And where the hell are they?

Am I insane? (Perhaps I should see a doctor.) I am actually trying to trick some birds.

I actually looked under my desk thinking there was a nest close to me. Nothing. But the birds did go silent. (Wasn't there a Steven King book about birds?)

Headphones! I'll use headphones! That's the ticket!

So, I listen to music and quietly work on knowing that those damn birds are just chirping away even though I can't hear them. That will never do. I rip the headphones off and, of course, there is not a sound.

Back to work. Chirp, chirp.

What's this? The chirping is right in front of me.

Hey, every time I move my mouse, I get a chirp. What the...

About four inches from my keyboard is a piece of paper - a 4" x 4" note left to me by my wife reminding me of something. Every time I move the mouse, the cord scrapes the edge of the paper and makes... A %$#@& chirp!


Who would buy software from a guy that is this nuts?



(I have written this note anonymously as I don't want anyone to know who I am. I am going to work on the paranoia real soon.)

boomman
01-30-2007, 09:48 AM
Dave: (oops I mean anonymous) Has your wife installed the rubber padding for the walls yet? :D LOL Boom

linrom1
01-30-2007, 10:45 AM
Man, you really need to check out your hearing, or put a TV in your work office.

GameTheory
01-30-2007, 11:19 AM
A *corded* mouse? Really man, get with the times. A cordless mouse will change your life...

Dave Schwartz
01-30-2007, 11:26 AM
I new someone would say that. I just cannot find one that works properly with a KVM switch.


Dave

DJofSD
01-30-2007, 11:39 AM
Good story, Dave.

Next thing you're going to tell us is you can hear those high pitched ring tones the youts (My Cousin Vinney) are using.

BIG RED
01-30-2007, 11:51 AM
This happened to me in a way. I live in the city, and was going bonkers hearing this chirping sound every now and then. It took me about a week to realize what it was. Four streets from me they put in new crossing signals, for the blind, and they chirp when it's OK to cross! That's what I thought you were going to say :D
I actually complained to my local pol, not for them, but why must they go all night? Incredibly, they don't chirp late night anymore, I mustn't have been the only one. I can imagine how annoying it would be living alot closer.

Dave Schwartz
01-30-2007, 12:03 PM
I am getting some really odd replies to this post (which I also posted on the HorseStreet BBS).

Check this suggestion out:

The ThinkGeek Annoy-a-tron
http://www.thinkgeek.com:80/gadgets/electronic/8c52/

bigmack
01-30-2007, 12:27 PM
I new someone would say that. I just cannot find one that works properly with a KVM switch.
Mr Schwartz, Mr Mack here.

Depending on the number of ports on your KVM, Logitech's oftentimes won't cut the mustard. Microsoft wireless mice should cut the mustard. Now, if you can figure out how the phrase "cut the mustard" came about, you're all set.

chickenhead
01-30-2007, 12:39 PM
well written Dave. I've been there myself...

DJofSD
01-30-2007, 12:45 PM
Dave, that little $10 device could be just the ticket to set up a coworker for a practical joke. He has an aversion to spiders. I can envision a booby trap using this chirper to lead him to a surprise. He he he -- ain't I a stinker?

Dave Schwartz
01-30-2007, 01:36 PM
Mack,

I had a wonderful setup going with Microsoft's wireless desktop. When the keyboard failed I got a new one and the new one never worked. Bought a different model and it never worked. Apparently, not supported.


DJ,

You are a sick boy. <G>

Please let us know how it turns out.

(Video would be nice.)

Dave

JustRalph
01-30-2007, 02:35 PM
I am getting some really odd replies to this post (which I also posted on the HorseStreet BBS).

Check this suggestion out:

The ThinkGeek Annoy-a-tron
http://www.thinkgeek.com:80/gadgets/electronic/8c52/

this is just plain cruel.............what a bastard! to invent this thing

njcurveball
01-30-2007, 04:49 PM
(I have written this note anonymously as I don't want anyone to know who I am. I am going to work on the paranoia real soon.)

Well I see you have the same Press Agent as Lindsay Lohan! :lol:

No worries, all of us Desk Jockeys go through this and the easiest thing to find is often the hardest!

And actually I prefer buying software from someone who is a little "eccentric".

Keep up the good work!

Jim

Tom
01-30-2007, 05:16 PM
this is just plain cruel.............what a bastard! to invent this thing

I want one!

We had a someting similar a year or so ago - only it gave of a biologival sound closely assosiated with bean consumption:rolleyes:

I put it under the chair of our plant manager when the company president was visiting and we were having our ops meeting.

Man, that thing was LOUD!:lol:

Come to think of it, it was the next week they told us ther were closing our plant! :eek:

DJofSD
01-30-2007, 05:22 PM
Tom, maybe your company should apply for some Super Fund dollars!

michiken
01-30-2007, 06:37 PM
Dave,

Can we find a way to blame Microsoft for your affliction? I smell a lawsuit.

Dave Schwartz
01-30-2007, 06:58 PM
LOL - MS is suit-proof. If the DOJ can't kick their asses, I certainly can't.

Dave