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witchdoctor
10-07-2006, 09:52 PM
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill



"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill



"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow



"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)



"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)



"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it."
-- Moses Hadas



"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know."
-- Abraham Lincoln



"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx



"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it."
-- Mark Twain



"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde



"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a
friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill



"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response



"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop



"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright



"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb



"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson



"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating



"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr



"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard



"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford



"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed



"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)



"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand



"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker



"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?"
-- Mark Twain



"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West



"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde



"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)



"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

Secretariat
10-07-2006, 10:00 PM
Good insults. Here's couple:

"Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?"”— DeLay to children living in the Astrodome during Hurricane Katrina

"And now let me introduce you to the man every kid wants to grow up to be like, Tom Delay" - Jack Abramoff on introducing Tom Delay

DJofSD
10-07-2006, 10:17 PM
I am sitting in the smallest room of my house. I have your review before me. In a moment it will be behind me. - Max Reeger

Tom
10-07-2006, 10:39 PM
Two of three posts pretty good.
The other, more crap.
Antoher thread getting hijacked.

* * *
Memo to workers at a factory-

If you are going to drink at lunch, please drink wkiskey and not vodka.
We would rather people know you are drunk than think you are stupid.


* * *

Boss (Looking at what a guy is wearing to work)
"Don't have any mirrors at your house?"

* * *
Wife: Does this dress make me lookfat?
Hubby" No. Your ASS makes you look fat.

banacek
10-07-2006, 10:58 PM
Two of three posts pretty good.
The other, more crap.
Antoher thread getting hijacked.

Agreed. I enjoyed the insults. :) I know it is the off topic section, but I don't understand why political views have to get into almost every thread!

Tom
10-07-2006, 11:05 PM
Some people are just rude and classless.
And those are their GOOD qualities.

(on-topic!:rolleyes:)

I'd like to see things from thier point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I would like to help them out - which way did they come in???

If they keep posting things in every thread, someday they might post something intelligent! (NOT!)

Tom
10-07-2006, 11:24 PM
I've seen plenty of people like them before - but I had to pay admission!

Why don't they slip into something more comfortable - like a coma!

Brains aren't everything - with some, they're nothing!

Sometimes they get lost in thought....you know, unfamiliar territory.

When they talk, other people get hoarse just listening.

PaceAdvantage
10-07-2006, 11:33 PM
Good insults. Here's couple:

"Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?"”— DeLay to children living in the Astrodome during Hurricane Katrina

"And now let me introduce you to the man every kid wants to grow up to be like, Tom Delay" - Jack Abramoff on introducing Tom Delay

You're such a freakin' buzz killer. You're also turning into one boring sonofabitch. Keep posting the same shit every single minute of every single day....it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO interesting......


Can you tell I'm pissed that the Yankees got crushed? Get used to it....

toetoe
10-08-2006, 10:56 PM
"Mr. Hogan, how shall I play this shot?"
"Under an assumed name."

Bumper snicker: "Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're a a**hole."

toetoe
10-08-2006, 10:58 PM
Guys, guys ... let's get right back to the topic, without Delay. ;)

betchatoo
10-09-2006, 09:08 AM
Mr. Shaw, I feel we should marry. Children with my looks and your brains would be a boon to the world.

But madam, think of the disaster if they had my looks and your brains

George Bernard Shaw

xtb
10-09-2006, 10:59 AM
Your mother swims after troop ships.

Pace Cap'n
10-09-2006, 06:36 PM
Your mother swims after troop ships.

We might have a winner...

bill
10-09-2006, 10:09 PM
i wouldnt call you a son of a bitch but i hope your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you

falconridge
10-10-2006, 01:26 AM
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas Wow!--Moses Hadas. Hadas was a great classical scholar who spent many years at Columbia University; I believe his daughter succeeded him in the same discipline, and at the same institution. Hadas's rendering of Vergil's Aeneid, my copy of which I always kept hidden from Father Kelly, got me through 11th-grade Latin.

Oh, yeah; insults. Let's see ... . Are cities and towns fair game? Then I give you ...

" ... no sooner had we reached Herkimer when the clouds bersed with renude vigger and I think my old man was about to say we will stop here and have lunch when my mother sugested it herself.

No replid my father with a corse jesture we will go on to Little Falls.

It was raining cats and dogs when we arived at Little Falls and my father droped a quaint remark.

If Falls is a verb he said the man that baptized this town was a practicle joker."

--Ring Lardner (but satirically attributed to the author's four-year-old son, Ring, Jr.), "The Young Immigrunts," (Chapter 6: Syracuse to Hudson 183.2)