Write your own headline/caption

[falconridge]

I heard about this on Saturday morning's broadcast of National Public Radio's syndicated program, "Wait, wait, don't tell me ... "

From the St. Petersburg Times:

By Times Staff
Published March 7, 2006

SPRING HILL - Rodney A. Covington walked out of a Spring Hill supermarket Sunday night with a 12-inch pepperoni stick in his shorts, police said, and that got him arrested.
www.sptimes.com/2006/03/07/Hernando/Man_caught_with_groce.shtml (http://www.sptimes.com/2006/03/07/Hernando/Man_caught_with_groce.shtml)

Of course, his name would be Rodney ("Rod" for short, which apparently it wasn't).

With apologies to William Wordsworth--and everybody else:

Toetoe! Thou shouldst be posting at this hour:
PA* hath need of thee: amongst these men
Of wretched grammar, rancor, bile, tenden-
Tious rants and púrloined prose, Brisnet Power,
Delimited-by-commas files, and sour
Grapes about their trips at ‘Toga and at Penn
National—are legions of us wond'ring when
The Irish Wit with acrid puns will us again embower. ...

*The board and its constituents

[bigmack]

Toetoe! Thou shouldst be posting at this hour:
PA* hath need of thee: amongst these men
Of wretched grammar, rancor, bile, tenden-
Tious rants and púrloined prose, Brisnet Power,
Delimited-by-commas files, and sour
Grapes about their trips at ‘Toga and at Penn
National—are legions of us wond'ring when
The Irish Wit with acrid puns will us again embower. ...
Very snappy falc. I don't know who's more of a verbivore you or Richard Lederer.

'Rod' tried to abscond with a 12” pepperoni stick and a 1lb block of pepper jack cheese valued @ $6.49?
Hell, at the Whole Foods up the block that would be $23.49

[skate]

it must of been a "she-male", a guy would have known that 4" is enough, or at least think it was enough.

[Tom]

What's a verbivore? :rolleyes:

[falconridge]

What's a verbivore? :rolleyes:I'd never seen that construction before I read Mack's post, but ... it sounds like someone's who's had to eat his words. What horseplayer hasn't? ;) :bang:

Verbivorously,

falconridge

[bigmack]

Richard Lederer, father of famed poker phenoms Annie Duke & Howard L, hosts a show aired locally in SD prior to the Madison based "Wait wait" on NPR entitled "A Way with Words".

Howard coined the term verbivore as one who devours words

You'd enjoy the show falc - don't know if it's on in Ell-ay

http://www.verbivore.com/

[bigmack]

And then it dawned on him that he had forgotten a word he once knew and alongside other signs took note that he will more than likely remember less as time moves forward

Transduction: transfer of genetic material or characteristics from one bacterial cell to another as related to DNA

Prognosis negative...

[DJofSD]

Dedicated verbivores will subscribe to A Word A Day (AWAD). (http://www.wordsmith.org/awad/index.html)

[bigmack]

Allrighty. Create a headline for these two oddities

James Filson was fired as a Big Ten conference football referee in 2005, following a reporter's disclosure that, after a bad accident and the installment of a prosthetic, Filson had been officiating games with one eye. Filson filed a lawsuit in July, pointing out that he had been refereeing well enough for the previous four years that no one noticed his condition, but the conference said that, now that the word is out, he would be a magnet for criticism on close calls. [Chicago Sun-Times, 7-18-06]


During the Santa Ana, Calif., murder-conspiracy trial of Aryan Brotherhood prison leaders in July, the lawyer for defendant Barry "The Baron" Mills (who was convicted along with colleague Tyler "The Hulk" Bingham) made the point that the Aryan Brotherhood is more of a social club than a criminal gang and mostly enjoys just "playing cards, reading and crocheting," according to a New York Times report. [New York Times, 7-29-06]

[Show Me the Wire]

Social Crocheting Get Together Leads to Murder-Conspiracy

[Show Me the Wire]

Ref Loses Job, Keeping One Good Eye On The Ball

[bigmack]

Crocheting crackers conspire for murder over canasta

Big 10 Zebra falls one short of close call

[Tom]

Pirate Ump Dumped...Arrrrgh!

[falconridge]

Pirate Ump Dumped...Arrrrgh! :D Atsa good 'un, matey!

[Tom]

Crook of the month club says deal is sew sew!

[bigmack]

Pirate Ump Dumped...Arrrrgh!
Terrifically funny
http://wtv-zone.com/caseman/3/ani2/file005.gif

[falconridge]

Crook of the month club says deal is sew sew!:lol: :lol: :lol: . Better still, you old sew-and-sew!

About the pepperoni pilferer, one of the "Wait, wait ..." panelists offered, "You gonna pay for that sausage, or are you just happy to see me?"

[rastajenk]

"Dems Allege Bush Policies Led to Israeli Warplanes' Attack on Shut-ins' Quilting Bee"

[toetoe]

Falc On Yonder Ridge,

I have already forgotten Point 1), but as to embowerment, I can just as easily disembower you. Alimentary, my dear Ducky, alimentary. That's not a word invented to bash our amigas coreanas, is it, hmm? :D

As to the Stuffed Meat Wars, let me declaim thusly:

I came, Midge;

I sausage;

I Concorde Age. (As Buddy Rich once told an interviewer, I just talk. You have to figure it out." I confess this last is un-figure-outable. HELP!

Lucky for y'all, I'm drawing a blank. Moron this later.

P.S. Falc, did you get your Wordsworth from this thread, as the "famous" shopper doubtless got his Wadsworth? :p

[toetoe]

Oh yeah! Purloin me if you must. Just keep perusing me. And keep my Grammar outta this! You couldn't carry her jock. :mad: :kiss:

[falconridge]

Falc, did you get your Wordsworth from this thread, as the "famous" shopper doubtless got his Wadsworth? :p:D Wadsworth! :ThmbUp: Y'mean (gulp) ... as in ... Longfellow? :eek: :faint:

[toetoe]

As the adopted waif pleaded, "Don't take that Paula Pounds tone with me, I beg you."

What was Paula arrested for? Something truly terrible, I think. It's on the tip of my tongue. Gawd, it tastes TERRIBLE! Wait, wait; don't tell me ...

[bigmack]

The shrewdness on your remembrance of P2's alleged lewdness is one more riddle than the amount you've been alloted.
As the petrol station pump handle aptly states, "don't top off" as the spillage is unbecoming and more importantly, wasteful.