2006 math - funny but true

[Dave Schwartz]

This came from a newsgroup I frequent. I rather enjoyed it and thought you might as well.

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled out 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her
discomfort and tried to tell her to give me 2 quarters, but she hailed the
manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she
stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950's

1. Teaching math in 1950:
A logger sells a truck load of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching math in 1960
A logger sells a truck load of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math in 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
$80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching math in 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
$80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching math in 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands . He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class
discussion after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels
feel as the logger cut down their homes? Remember: THERE ARE NO WRONG
ANSWERS.

6. Teaching math in 2006
Un hachero vende una caretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la
producciones es $80.

[Dave Schwartz]

Okay, a second one from the same newsgroup:


THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

--------------------------------------------------------------

The Old Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
warm and well fed, but the grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies
out in the cold.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!!

--------------------------------------------------------------

The Modern Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper think she's a fool,
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering
grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should
be allowed to be warm and fed, while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN all show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table
filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this
be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to
suffer so?

Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries
when they sing "It's not easy being green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the
news networks film the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the
group kneel down and pray for the grasshopper's sake.

Ted Kennedy & Nancy Pelosi exclaim in an interview with Katie Couric that
the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for
an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act",
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to
hire a sufficient number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single parent
welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case. As the story ends, we see the grasshopper finishing
up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in,
which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he
doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders, who terrorize the once
peaceful neighborhood.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican!

[Tom]

Good stuff!
:D