Competition For SONY

[toetoe]

The PlayStation hoopla has failed to mention these rival developments:

for bored mothers-to-be: GEStation, by General Electric, of course;

chaos behind the curtain at the opera: DevaStation. They can't spell, okay?;

NBA royalty game: PrinceTayshawn. (Sorry. --ed.);

Orkin tie-in, free with large purchase: InfestStation;

underwater game with pincer controllers: CrustStation;

Former Star Trek medic turns to carpet bombing: DeForestStation;

peek into Toetoe's heart: DetestStation. No charge. I'll PAY you to take it.

[falconridge]

Coming soon ...

Wheystation: intense gamers will now be able to make their own virtual cheese and yogurt.

[toetoe]

Speaking of gamers in tents, the fine folks in Kurdistan, large and small, lament your preference for whey.

[falconridge]

De-te(st-ation): geld that studdish colt or neuter your straying spaniel; recommended only for experienced, extreme gamers.

[toetoe]

TranssubstantiStation: You're trapped in a proverbially dry West Texas town, with an infinite supply of water. Now get busy, Jerry Jeff. With cameos by Jessica Alb, an army of Cassocks, Dick Van Paten and a Host of others.

[toetoe]

The ConverseStation: Creepy eavesdroppers swear by their Chuck Taylors, the equivalent of rubber moccasins. One squeak from the Chucks and the princess dies. Special one-flap-down feature of Player 1, Jeffery Gene "Hackman" Leonard, trumps the power of the evil Three-Toed Sloth. Black and Decker (that was a battery, get it?) not included. In fact, way too much already IS included.

[toetoe]

Buxom beauties Adrienne Barbeau, Susan Sarandon and that lady from Amarcord compete on the "Posture Circuit" and must live to tell of it. Raconteurs will judge the stories. I give you ... "GreatestPecsStation." Yes, gamers and mammonists, if you're men enough, why not take "Oliver?" Caveat lactea --- contestants must cleave to the story line.

Cameos by Danny Glandz, Martin Buber and The Fifth Dickensian.

[falconridge]

Buxom beauties Adrienne Barbeau, Susan Sarandon and that lady from Amarcord compete on the "Posture Circuit" and must live to tell of it. Raconteurs will judge the stories. I give you ... "GreatestPecsStation." Yes, gamers and mammonists, if you're men enough, why not take "Oliver?" Caveat lactea --- contestants must cleave to the story line.

Cameos by Danny Glandz, Martin Buber and The Fifth Dickensian.A bit ... lowbra for the "smart set"--but a sure hit with those the mercurial H.L. Mencken called the "Booboisie."

[falconridge]

Sub-Borden-(St)ation: Relive those happy "Farmers Day" doubleheader 'tween-game dairy-cow contests at Candlestick, where Ed "Squeeze Play" Bailey oupulled such milksops as Jimmy "Hands-on" Davenport and Gene "Frosty" Freese.

[toetoe]

Help Donna McKechnie find her leotard in the dark: OneFabulousScentStation.