What a steal in fantasy football!

[Bubbles]

So in one of my leagues, I manage to pull this trade off...

Idiot owner gets:
RB Edgerrin James (I already had Cadillac and Bryan Westbrook, no need for Edge)
WR Kevin Curtis (St. Louis's #3)
TE Chris Baker (Vinny Testeverde as QB? Don't think so)

Bubbles gets:
WR Terrell Owens
TE Daniel Graham (Nice, capable TE to back up Tony Gonzalez)

That'd be your basic fleecing...

[toetoe]

Hey, Bub,

Value for value. If he's not satisfied in 48 hours, as commissioner I hereby void said trade, and sentence you to 162 games listening to Rick Monday, next year. Don't worry, he only 'works' 4 or 5 innings.

[Ron]

I never heard of a league where you can trade an uneven amount of players. Kevin Curtis has been elevated to #2 and could stay there. Turf toe is a serious injury. Ask Neon.

[toetoe]

I would LOVE to pick a great enough %-age of winners to be called TurfToe. 50%? God, I'm dreaming.

[falconridge]

Hey, Bub,

Value for value. If he's not satisfied in 48 hours, as commissioner I hereby void said trade, and sentence you to 162 games listening to Rick Monday, next year. Don't worry, he only 'works' 4 or 5 innings.
As Special Counsel to the Commissioner, I strongly advise that you commute Bub's sentence to one-to-five in a meat grinder, on the grounds that Monday on a Sunday-through-Saturday schedule is cruel and unusual. Well, cruel anyway.

And what a way to speak of the guy who once snatched Old Glory from the clutches of the Bic-flicking pinkos who tried to set it aflame in center field! For the love of Pete (Axthelm, Mikkelsen, and Reiser), what's our world coming to!

Exclamatorily,
FR!

[Valuist]

My only fear would be that Cadillac Williams might get wore down as the season goes on. He shared the carry load w/Ronnie Brown at Auburn in a 12 game college season. Thats quite a jump up in workload for him but he's been great so far.

[toetoe]

As usual, F. has spoken with excretion and a plum. DIS-cretion, I mean. No beef here with Monday's talent on the field. Fast, and a great fielder. He didn't even pummel the guy with the flag, either. He just has that affliction, I-Strapped-It-On Disease, marked by a mind as wide-open as Jack Benny's purse.

[falconridge]

As usual, F. has spoken with excretion and a plum. DIS-cretion, I mean. No beef here with Monday's talent on the field. Fast, and a great fielder. He didn't even pummel the guy with the flag, either. He just has that affliction, I-Strapped-It-On Disease, marked by a mind as wide-open as Jack Benny's purse.
After I recently saw, for the nth time, that replay of the Rickster saving the colors, I came away from the boob tube more inspired, more proud to be an American, than I'd felt since a First Gulf War-era WWF match that pitted Sergeant Slaughter against The Sheik of Baghdad in a special "no submissions" Battle Royal. Man, that was exciting!

For those of our colleagues who don't follow serious sport, the Sarge used to enter the squared circle in a campaign hat, an olive drab government-issue wrestling leotard, and high-laced combat boots. The Sheik sported a Saddam Hussein-style 'stache and Arabian Nights wrestling boots that curled up at the toes. This Match of the Century was "officiated" by a ref who looked suspiciously like the Ayatollah Khomeini (I know, different country, but do you really think a pro wrestling crowd's gonna care?) and who inexplicably allowed the The Sheik to get away repeatedly with such outrages as the folding-chair slam and the turnbuckle toss (and we thought the Del Mar stewards were bad!). Invigorated by the partisan crowd's chant of "YOO-ESS-A!," the Sarge kicked out of a two-count pin (in which he found himself after one of the Sheik's seconds, lurking at the ring's apron, blind-sided our hero with a sand bag), hoisted his swarthy foe above his shoulders, deftly executed his "patented" (though by somebody else) airplane spin, and launched the Baghdad bully right out of the ring. The decisive pin was administered, and the final three-count registered, where the Sheik landed--at the feet of none other than WWF Commissioner Vince McMahon!

Suddenly, though minutes earlier no one could possibly have predicted the match's outcome (or could they? hmmm...), a playground-sized flag unfurled from the rafters, the Sarge saluted, and the already rabid Cow Palace crowd went stark raving stupid--I mean, mad. Not since Lucky Lindy landed in the capital of Frogdom had a Yank heard such applause, not since the Duke and Forrest Tucker took Iwo Jima had an American success been so hard-won--and not since Roger Ebert raved over a JLo flick has anyone read a sentence so bloated with blather.

What a pity that, in our era of 'roids and Rosie Ruizes, the sports world doesn't give us more feel-good stories like those of the Rickster and the Sarge. Now, if those two were to join forces with Uncle Sam, our armed forces' current enlistment problem would evaporate faster than Monday's wit in the noonday sun.

Awed by His Rickness and Insuperable Sarge,
Your prostrated reporter,
falconridge

[toetoe]

Reluctant to pick nits, I still must insist that submissions were indeed allowed in that famous case, contingent upon the inclusion of SASE's.

Your humble thread-hijacker,
TT

[Bubbles]

Wow. How did we get from Terrell Owens to the Iron Sheik? I think we skipped over 20 years of good, solid sports entertainment! :lol:

[toetoe]

Far be it from me to praise RMon with faint insults, but one John Franco, 'color' man on the radio broadcast right now, may indeed be worse. These guys go from being grizzled, hoary veterans to an embarrassing-to-hear state of infancy in the booth. Please don't think I'm an adamant-assed purist when it comes to language, but one indicator of possible knuckle-dragging ineptitude is the usage of the past perfect(?) thusly: coulda did, shoulda went, mighta came, etc. I maintain that Dizzy Dean's 'dialect' had a logic to it, and never stooped so low as "I was so drunk, I couldn't have drank another drop," e.g. Yet it's ubiquitous today. One more quick paradox: "I coulda saw that show for free" coexists with "I seen him."

Humbly and hijackingly,
TT

[Valuist]

Bad news on Escalade Williams; he's listed as doubtful for this week.

[Bubbles]

I saw questionable, and that more would be decided after today's practice. At any rate, I picked up Mike Anderson, who is coming off a 115-yard game, and if needed, he'll fill in.

[Valuist]

http://www.jimfeist.com/Injuries.asp?Sport=NFL

[Bubbles]

Just call me "Foot in Mouth" Bubbles. Graham turned out to be the big acquisition (5 catches, 119 yards, 1 TD)! Philly got killed, Mike Anderson got only 11 carries (read: Death threats to Tatum Bell, lol), and Edge had a very good game. Geez. It's like last year, I traded Bubba Franks for Terry Glenn after Glenn had a few big games. Day after the trade goes through, bam, Glenn's out for the year. I feel like Frankel on Cup day, my goodness...

[Valuist]

"I feel like Frankel on Breeder's Cup day"
:D

Now things couldn't be THAT bad, could they?