Dave Schwartz
07-18-2005, 07:52 PM
The following is attributed to George Carlin. Don't know if it is really his but it is certainly applicable to our times (and funny).
COWS
"Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government
can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall
where she sleeps in the state of Washington And they tracked her calves to
their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give them all a cow."
CONSTITUTION
"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we
just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's
worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore."
TEN COMMANDMENTS
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse?
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery"
and "Thou Shall Not Lie" In a building full of lawyers, judges and
politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!
And Last but not least.... about Martha Stewart ..
"Boy, I felt a lot safer when she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe
Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the
one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and
haul her ass off to jail."
COWS
"Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government
can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall
where she sleeps in the state of Washington And they tracked her calves to
their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give them all a cow."
CONSTITUTION
"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we
just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's
worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore."
TEN COMMANDMENTS
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse?
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery"
and "Thou Shall Not Lie" In a building full of lawyers, judges and
politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!
And Last but not least.... about Martha Stewart ..
"Boy, I felt a lot safer when she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe
Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the
one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and
haul her ass off to jail."