Humor: Osama at the Pearly Gates

[Dave Schwartz]

When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the Pearly Gates by George
Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I
allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept and
said, "This is not what you promised me."

The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you
in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

[ponyplayer]

That was a good one....here's one I liked:

Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie. The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

"Uncle Sam" (a former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out -- virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."

[ponyplayer]

One more......

Top 10 Ways Osama Bin Laden Can Improve His Image

From the Late Show With David Letterman:

10. There's no way he can improve his image. He's a murdering, soul-less asshole.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

[toetoe]

Pony Boy,
I'm a civil engineer's son, but I don't get it. Is it simply what engineers do? Sorry.