Suff
12-26-2004, 04:27 PM
Some year-end awards
by Mark Simon
WITH another year just about in the books, it is time to go through the events of 2004 and hand out some awards:
I Forgot My Parachute Before I Jumped Award: To Tim Smith, who resigned as commissioner of the National Thoroughbred Racing Association ostensibly to take the top job at the New York Racing Association, only to back out of consideration for that post before ever taking it.
How Can I Be Overdrawn If I Still Have Checks in My Checkbook? Award: To Magna Entertainment Corp., which lost $54.7- million in the first nine months of 2004 but has been talking about bidding on the NYRA franchise, among other properties; is currently renovating Gulfstream Park; and proposes renovations to almost every other track it owns.
Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Triple Crown Award: To Smarty Jones, whose expected joyous coronation in the Belmont Stakes (G1) became a funereal scene after he was upset by Birdstone.
We’d Rather See 50,000 Horses Slaughtered a Year Than Take the Chance a Few Horses Would Be Neglected Award: To the American Association of Equine Practitioners for its refusal to support a bill in Congress that would abolish the slaughter of horses for human consumption because the association says the bill is "full of holes."
I Need to Get Rid of a Vowel, So I’ll Buy a T Award: To Terry Meyocks, who took a position as special assistant to the commissioner at NTRA after resigning from president of NYRA under pressure as part of a deal with federal prosecutors.
Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out Award: To Sharon O’Bryan, who turned down the job as the first wagering security director of the NTRA several weeks after the organization announced she had accepted the position.
I Had My Fingers Crossed Behind My Back Award: To Fair Grounds, which reached an agreement to sell controlling interest in the track to prominent horse owner Mike Pegram, only to turn around two weeks later and announce that it instead would sell the track to Churchill Downs.
The At Least One Organization Is Trying to Do Something About Those Blasted Offshore Pirates Award: To the Horsemen’s Benevolent and Protective Association, for proposing in February that it would establish an offshore wagering hub on behalf of horsemen, with profits to be used to bolster purses and to combat offshore wagering sites that return little or nothing to racing.
You Might As Well Retire the Award Award: To Russell Baze, who has won the Isaac Murphy Award for highest winning percentage in the country for a rider every year since the National Turf Writers Association instituted it nine years ago.
The Oh, Yeah, There’s a Small Problem, We Forgot to Tell You You Have No Insurance Award: To the Jockeys’ Guild, which failed to disclose to its membership that it had allowed its catastrophic injury insurance to lapse, an oversight that did not come to light until Gary Birzer was paralyzed in a riding accident at Mountaineer Race Track in July.
The What’s One More Hat to Wear? Award: To D. G. Van Clief Jr., head of Fasig-Tipton Co. and head of Breeders’ Cup Ltd., who took the role of commissioner of the NTRA after Smith left.
Look Ma, Top of the World--Finally--Award: To Bobby Frankel, who sent out Ghostzapper, his 13th starter in the race, to win the Breeders’ Cup Classic (G1).
We Have Our Collective Heads Buried in the Sand Award: To the Jockeys’ Guild members, who gave Wayne Gertmenian a five-year extension on his contract to manage the organization in the face of questions about the Guild’s finances, the lack of benefits the Guild has provided since Gertmenian has been president, and questions about the background listed on Gertmenian’s résumé.
The Bald--And We Do Mean Bald--Faced Lie Award: To Pat Valenzuela, who shaved off all the hair from his head, chest, armpits, and pubic area, and therefore could not supply hair-follicle samples as required for his mandatory drug teice on the required length of hair needed for the test.
If This Is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, I Must Be In the Winner’s Circle Award: To Steve Asmussen, who set a single-season record for winners for a trainer, with 536 and counting through December 14, surpassing the previous record of 496 set by Jack Van Berg in 1976.
Getting Out From Under the Boot Award: To jockeys, who won the right to wear advertising on their pants after winning a lawsuit in Louisville.
Till Death Do Us Part, Unless I Find a Better Deal Award: To NYRA, which split from its two Triple Crown Productions partners to strike its own television deal for the Belmont Stakes, breaking away from an arrangement it has had with the other two Triple Crown host tracks since 1986.
Some People May Want to Change the Constitution for You, But You Won’t Get Any Votes From Anyone in the Thoroughbred Industry Award: To California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has refused to help Thoroughbred racing while siding with Native American casinos and their right to monopolize operation of slots in the state.
How Can You Keep ‘Em in the Big City After They’ve Been Down on the Farm? Award: To Will Farish, who left his post in London as United States ambassador to Great Britain and Northern Ireland to return to his Lane’s End farm in Kentucky.
We’ll Miss You Award: To W. T. Young.
by Mark Simon
WITH another year just about in the books, it is time to go through the events of 2004 and hand out some awards:
I Forgot My Parachute Before I Jumped Award: To Tim Smith, who resigned as commissioner of the National Thoroughbred Racing Association ostensibly to take the top job at the New York Racing Association, only to back out of consideration for that post before ever taking it.
How Can I Be Overdrawn If I Still Have Checks in My Checkbook? Award: To Magna Entertainment Corp., which lost $54.7- million in the first nine months of 2004 but has been talking about bidding on the NYRA franchise, among other properties; is currently renovating Gulfstream Park; and proposes renovations to almost every other track it owns.
Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Triple Crown Award: To Smarty Jones, whose expected joyous coronation in the Belmont Stakes (G1) became a funereal scene after he was upset by Birdstone.
We’d Rather See 50,000 Horses Slaughtered a Year Than Take the Chance a Few Horses Would Be Neglected Award: To the American Association of Equine Practitioners for its refusal to support a bill in Congress that would abolish the slaughter of horses for human consumption because the association says the bill is "full of holes."
I Need to Get Rid of a Vowel, So I’ll Buy a T Award: To Terry Meyocks, who took a position as special assistant to the commissioner at NTRA after resigning from president of NYRA under pressure as part of a deal with federal prosecutors.
Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out Award: To Sharon O’Bryan, who turned down the job as the first wagering security director of the NTRA several weeks after the organization announced she had accepted the position.
I Had My Fingers Crossed Behind My Back Award: To Fair Grounds, which reached an agreement to sell controlling interest in the track to prominent horse owner Mike Pegram, only to turn around two weeks later and announce that it instead would sell the track to Churchill Downs.
The At Least One Organization Is Trying to Do Something About Those Blasted Offshore Pirates Award: To the Horsemen’s Benevolent and Protective Association, for proposing in February that it would establish an offshore wagering hub on behalf of horsemen, with profits to be used to bolster purses and to combat offshore wagering sites that return little or nothing to racing.
You Might As Well Retire the Award Award: To Russell Baze, who has won the Isaac Murphy Award for highest winning percentage in the country for a rider every year since the National Turf Writers Association instituted it nine years ago.
The Oh, Yeah, There’s a Small Problem, We Forgot to Tell You You Have No Insurance Award: To the Jockeys’ Guild, which failed to disclose to its membership that it had allowed its catastrophic injury insurance to lapse, an oversight that did not come to light until Gary Birzer was paralyzed in a riding accident at Mountaineer Race Track in July.
The What’s One More Hat to Wear? Award: To D. G. Van Clief Jr., head of Fasig-Tipton Co. and head of Breeders’ Cup Ltd., who took the role of commissioner of the NTRA after Smith left.
Look Ma, Top of the World--Finally--Award: To Bobby Frankel, who sent out Ghostzapper, his 13th starter in the race, to win the Breeders’ Cup Classic (G1).
We Have Our Collective Heads Buried in the Sand Award: To the Jockeys’ Guild members, who gave Wayne Gertmenian a five-year extension on his contract to manage the organization in the face of questions about the Guild’s finances, the lack of benefits the Guild has provided since Gertmenian has been president, and questions about the background listed on Gertmenian’s résumé.
The Bald--And We Do Mean Bald--Faced Lie Award: To Pat Valenzuela, who shaved off all the hair from his head, chest, armpits, and pubic area, and therefore could not supply hair-follicle samples as required for his mandatory drug teice on the required length of hair needed for the test.
If This Is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, I Must Be In the Winner’s Circle Award: To Steve Asmussen, who set a single-season record for winners for a trainer, with 536 and counting through December 14, surpassing the previous record of 496 set by Jack Van Berg in 1976.
Getting Out From Under the Boot Award: To jockeys, who won the right to wear advertising on their pants after winning a lawsuit in Louisville.
Till Death Do Us Part, Unless I Find a Better Deal Award: To NYRA, which split from its two Triple Crown Productions partners to strike its own television deal for the Belmont Stakes, breaking away from an arrangement it has had with the other two Triple Crown host tracks since 1986.
Some People May Want to Change the Constitution for You, But You Won’t Get Any Votes From Anyone in the Thoroughbred Industry Award: To California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has refused to help Thoroughbred racing while siding with Native American casinos and their right to monopolize operation of slots in the state.
How Can You Keep ‘Em in the Big City After They’ve Been Down on the Farm? Award: To Will Farish, who left his post in London as United States ambassador to Great Britain and Northern Ireland to return to his Lane’s End farm in Kentucky.
We’ll Miss You Award: To W. T. Young.