Anyone else have wives/gf's with bad anxiety?

[Neumeier]

Does anyone else have to deal with bad anxiety from significant others? For the last few years my wife has been a bitch more often than not towards me. It's really bad. I don't think she knows she's doing it. It's only towards me. When I call her out on it she says it's anxiety. I am really having a hard time dealing with it and don't know what to do any longer. Part of me thinks we'd be happier with other people. I have been doing research on it and starting to understand a little, but still don't know what to do. Life is too short to have someone be a huge bitch all the time. If anxiety is this much of an issue I'd like to learn more and understand it. Any help?

[Tall One]

They're women, and that's what they do. Hell, if my woman wasn't breaking my balls over something, I'd assume something was really wrong. Honestly, I just ignore it (most of the time ;)) which normally is petty stuff. But, a man can only take so much, Nuemei..

If you don't mind me asking, what age group are we talking about here?

[Neumeier]

They're women, and that's what they do. Hell, if my woman wasn't breaking my balls over something, I'd assume something was really wrong. Honestly, I just ignore it (most of the time ;)) which normally is petty stuff. But, a man can only take so much, Nuemei..

If you don't mind me asking, what age group are we talking about here?

Late 30s. I feel bad if its honestly a disorder/disease or whatever. I don't understand it

[Relwob Owner]

Does anyone else have to deal with bad anxiety from significant others? For the last few years my wife has been a bitch more often than not towards me. It's really bad. I don't think she knows she's doing it. It's only towards me. When I call her out on it she says it's anxiety. I am really having a hard time dealing with it and don't know what to do any longer. Part of me thinks we'd be happier with other people. I have been doing research on it and starting to understand a little, but still don't know what to do. Life is too short to have someone be a huge bitch all the time. If anxiety is this much of an issue I'd like to learn more and understand it. Any help?

Tough situation for sure and sorry you are going through it. My two cents would be to be mindful of is that the end result of any condition your wife may have is that you are being treated like shit. Life is too short to endure that. Good luck with everything.

[Tall One]

Late 30s. I feel bad if its honestly a disorder/disease or whatever. I don't understand it


Well, mine is 37 and I'm 41. I'm not going to put her stuff out there, but mine has a lot of baggage she still keeps with her. We've been close since high school so, I know how to deal with it..when to step in, and when to just let her be.

Believe me, i wasn't trying to sound like I don't care, because I think we all have issues with our significant others. Some moreso than others, but don't feel like you're alone. Buddy of mine texted me earlier wanting to head butt his wife in her jugular! You have recognized some concerns and that's a good step. But like Relwob said above, everybody deserves to be happy. Just keep noting her mood swings and other signs if they get worse or better and when they happen.

[Neumeier]

Tough situation for sure and sorry you are going through it. My two cents would be to be mindful of is that the end result of any condition your wife may have is that you are being treated like shit. Life is too short to endure that. Good luck with everything.

It's funny you say that. I had a really great upbringing. My family hugs/kisses tells eachother how much we love eachother. Her family never did that. Her father was really mean to her growing up. It's not like my life is awful. It's just that she gets like this sometimes and I hate it.

[Marshall Bennett]

Hormonal imbalance. Can occur at almost any age for a woman. Gets worse after 40. You might look into it. What you've described is classic.
Google is your friend, but a good doctor is even better.
Good luck. :)

[Neumeier]

Just found this article. Going to read it

http://www.boston.com/news/opinion/2015/04/14/not-moody-bitch-just-have-anxiety-let-talk-about/TCmRzCCWvOX5HOZfEx9SoO/story.html

[Tall One]

Hormonal imbalance. Can occur at almost any age for a woman. Gets worse after 40. You might look into it. What you've described is classic.
Google is your friend, but a good doctor is even better.
Good luck. :)


Why i was curious what her age was..was thinking she was "Going through the change.."

[TJDave]

Does anyone else have to deal with bad anxiety from significant others? For the last few years my wife has been a bitch more often than not towards me. It's really bad. I don't think she knows she's doing it. It's only towards me. When I call her out on it she says it's anxiety. I am really having a hard time dealing with it and don't know what to do any longer. Part of me thinks we'd be happier with other people. I have been doing research on it and starting to understand a little, but still don't know what to do. Life is too short to have someone be a huge bitch all the time. If anxiety is this much of an issue I'd like to learn more and understand it. Any help?

There are drugs for that. I highly recommend Xanax. One of those and she won't care if the house is burning down. Seriously.

[thaskalos]

Does anyone else have to deal with bad anxiety from significant others? For the last few years my wife has been a bitch more often than not towards me. It's really bad. I don't think she knows she's doing it. It's only towards me. When I call her out on it she says it's anxiety. I am really having a hard time dealing with it and don't know what to do any longer. Part of me thinks we'd be happier with other people. I have been doing research on it and starting to understand a little, but still don't know what to do. Life is too short to have someone be a huge bitch all the time. If anxiety is this much of an issue I'd like to learn more and understand it. Any help?
You are not betting the horses from home...are you? That's been known to elevate the wife's anxiety level somewhat...

[Ocala Mike]

I would also not discount the possibility of hypoglycemia along with the likelihood of hormonal imbalance. My wife is an insulin-dependent diabetic, and there is literally no living with her when she suffers an insulin reaction where her blood sugar level drops precipitously. She becomes extremely combative, argumentative, and generally bitchy.

I would have your wife's thyroid function checked also; the thyroid controls almost everything going on. Incidentally, my wife has now got a new anxiety, a fear of traveling or being away from home for an extensive amount of time. Not good for any vacation plans, believe me. She is seeing a shrink who has prescribed xanax for her, but she still doesn't want to travel.

[DJofSD]

I'd second OM's advice: seek professional help, both medical and psychological.

[BlueChip@DRF]

If you are trying to salvage the relationship, then seek professional help.
If not, or you have already tried and failed, then it might be best to separate than make each other miserable for the remaining years of your life.


What do you tell a girl who has two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

[nijinski]

Does anyone else have to deal with bad anxiety from significant others? For the last few years my wife has been a bitch more often than not towards me. It's really bad. I don't think she knows she's doing it. It's only towards me. When I call her out on it she says it's anxiety. I am really having a hard time dealing with it and don't know what to do any longer. Part of me thinks we'd be happier with other people. I have been doing research on it and starting to understand a little, but still don't know what to do. Life is too short to have someone be a huge bitch all the time. If anxiety is this much of an issue I'd like to learn more and understand it. Any help?

Offer her all the help there is out there and there is plenty . Support her
though the process and that's all you can do .
If she knows it's anxiety ,there's no reason she shouldn't want to get help
and not be a bitch .
Do you have kids ?

[nijinski]

They're women, and that's what they do. Hell, if my woman wasn't breaking my balls over something, I'd assume something was really wrong. Honestly, I just ignore it (most of the time ;)) which normally is petty stuff. But, a man can only take so much, Nuemei..

If you don't mind me asking, what age group are we talking about here?

Oh really , that's what women do?

[Relwob Owner]

If you are trying to salvage the relationship, then seek professional help.
If not, or you have already tried and failed, then it might be best to separate than make each other miserable for the remaining years of your life.


What do you tell a girl who has two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

That is awful

[Tall One]

Oh really , that's what women do?


Break balls? Yeah, but it's a trip.

You a chick? No hard feelings. Me and my girl; known each other too long for surprises. She knows my dark side just the same..if you want to troll, pick somebody else.

[Clocker]

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women around to hear it is he still wrong?

[Tor Ekman]

Snickers bar?

[headhawg]

Seems like the OP asks a serious question and the asshats still manage to show how ass-hatty they are. I guess leopards can't change their spots...

Anyway, the best answer -- professional help, as has already been suggested.

While Xanax is a good short term fix for anxiety, it can be addicting. Anti-depressants such as Prozac or Zoloft may be a better long-term solution. Sometimes depression can mask itself as anxiety (or anxiety can be a symptom) so it's worth looking into.

While it could be physiological, if you're the only target of the bitchiness that would seem less likely. Still, having some blood work done isn't a bad idea.

I hope that things work out for you.

[thaskalos]

Might there be anything that your wife could be blaming you for, which you think is dead and buried? Are there any big financial issues which might be placing undue strain on your relationship? The fact that your wife is only showing hostility towards you is a troubling sign, IMO. Has your wife voiced any concerns or complaints about you to other friends or family members?

[Grits]

You are gaining more sound advice (with the exception of the black eyes post) in the pages of this thread than you will ever gain from a pyschiatrist's book that is titled, "Moody Bitches, The Sleep You're Missing, The Sex You're Not Having And What's Really Driving You Crazy".

Can you spell "let's generate book sells"? Don't waste your money.

Another article about the book appeared in the New York Times, where I read it days ago...seeing right away, its demographic, of which I am not. I'm past wise enough to know better. Too, the book sounds unremarkable in its generalities.

Listen to others, here. One thing is for sure. True anxiety disorder is not selective. It is not targeted towards one individual or one circumstance. It simply is not.

....From a Southern woman, wishing you better days.

[Neumeier]

Might there be anything that your wife could be blaming you for, which you think is dead and buried? Are there any big financial issues which might be placing undue strain on your relationship? The fact that your wife is only showing hostility towards you is a troubling sign, IMO. Has your wife voiced any concerns or complaints about you to other friends or family members?

I think she has animosity towards me for having such a loving upbringing when her was hell. Also I got laid off and I'm home all day with the baby while she has to work

[DJofSD]

If she just had a baby then chances are hormones are involved.

To address the relationship issues, buy and read: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work-john-gottman/1100247160?ean=9780609805794 . Especially understand the 4 horsemen -- it is critical.

[johnhannibalsmith]

(disclaimer: coming from a different angle that I think has been ignored based on what is known. My intent isn't to question or doubt the seriousness of anything, but just to look at what little we do know from a different way before you get immersed in the deep part of the water here.)

I remember a lot of my buddies as kids could get asthma at the drop of a hat if they needed to. As I got older it seemed like "anxiety" replaced it in life. Since it doesn't sound like you are well-versed in the medical end of this, I'd want to know to what degree "anxiety" is affecting her. If it's been this long and this serious, it's probably past time to find out anyway, especially if it something that affects you both so dramatically. I'm not trying to sound like a jerky doubting thomas, it's just that you've only told us what she told you and now you are researching in an effort to be me understanding... and I'd want to make sure that I'm not feeding a scapegoat that is going to undermine everything anyway. If she's not used to talking it out or whatever and can't help but rip into you every chance she gets and then says oh sorry, the anxiety... if it isn't anxiety, whatever it is won't be solved by understanding anxiety in ten articles and a couple of books. Find out what is really wrong, which means talking, and understand that. Probably even fix some of the anxiety.

[Inner Dirt]

I think she has animosity towards me for having such a loving upbringing when her was hell. Also I got laid off and I'm home all day with the baby while she has to work

Bingo! That was too easy.

[Grits]

I think she has animosity towards me for having such a loving upbringing when her was hell. Also I got laid off and I'm home all day with the baby while she has to work

Neumie, I did more reading because this concerned me--for you. I wish you'd been totally honest if you were gonna sincerely ask about your wife's mental health. Presenting only one side isn't a good thing particularly one of blame. I reckon she does have anxiety.

You're the guy.

1. Who sent his rent check in late, and was appalled, and indignant at the property's collectors. They were rude.

2. Who is now buying his 4 bedroom dream home with asbestos and inground pool.

3. Whose wife is working every day, while you're now laid off--at home with your 18 month old toddler.

4. Whose gambling large sums of money. On golf. On basketball. On horse racing.

And you're wondering what's wrong with your wife? Look at yourself, and be honest, maybe it's your gambling.

[Greyfox]

For the last few years my wife has been a bitch more often than not towards me.

Question of the Month.

"If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him...
Is he still wrong?"

[fast4522]

If ever a tune was needed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnPMoAb4y8U

[Grits]

If ever a tune was needed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnPMoAb4y8U

Fast, you 'da man; you got it right.

What a great tune from decades ago. It made me smile so, to hear it again!! ;)

[horses4courses]

One, if not the greatest, soul number of all time.
Classic stuff :ThmbUp:

[jballscalls]

constant and severe anxiety sucks the joy out of pretty much everything in your life. One of the reasons I stopped dating was because I wouldn't want to saddle someone with the anxiety baggage of being around me. It's not fair to them.

[Grits]

constant and severe anxiety sucks the joy out of pretty much everything in your life. One of the reasons I stopped dating was because I wouldn't want to saddle someone with the anxiety baggage of being around me. It's not fair to them.

Jason, this is a tremendous weight for you. You're young and I hope so much that one day, you'll have a better outcome. That you'll find the help that will lead you to a much better place--whether it's a therapist, a new medication.. or other treatment. I just wish you relief, and that you not be alone traveling this difficult path. ... Please, take care.

[Ocala Mike]

One of the reasons I stopped dating was because I wouldn't want to saddle someone with the anxiety baggage of being around me. It's not fair to them.



Jason, I don't know you and I'm certainly no Dr. Phil, but I think beating yourself up like this is not helpful to your plight. If you find the right person, it could be the best medicine for you at this stage of your life. I speak from experience, because I did find the right person when I had the baggage, and now I have to step up and try and understand her developing problems as we're in our "golden years."

[Tom]

The right person will gladly help you carry your baggage.
Don't short-change yourself. You can help carry some of their baggage.

[Rookies]

Jason, I don't know you and I'm certainly no Dr. Phil, but I think beating yourself up like this is not helpful to your plight. If you find the right person, it could be the best medicine for you at this stage of your life. I speak from experience, because I did find the right person when I had the baggage, and now I have to step up and try and understand her developing problems as we're in our "golden years."

Very sage advice. :ThmbUp:

[Inner Dirt]

Neumie, I did more reading because this concerned me--for you. I wish you'd been totally honest if you were gonna sincerely ask about your wife's mental health. Presenting only one side isn't a good thing particularly one of blame. I reckon she does have anxiety.

You're the guy.

1. Who sent his rent check in late, and was appalled, and indignant at the property's collectors. They were rude.

2. Who is now buying his 4 bedroom dream home with asbestos and inground pool.

3. Whose wife is working every day, while you're now laid off--at home with your 18 month old toddler.

4. Whose gambling large sums of money. On golf. On basketball. On horse racing.

And you're wondering what's wrong with your wife? Look at yourself, and be honest, maybe it's your gambling.

If his golf bets are accurate he looks to be up 9K betting golf the last two months so pretty sure he is in the black recently.

[fast4522]

When you try to understand is when one makes the grade of human being, anything less is just animal period. So many broken people today, I will leave my conservative ending out of this one.