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View Full Version : The hazards of online wagering...


thaskalos
03-18-2015, 02:33 AM
May I ask an innocent and unassuming question?

Does your online wagering create any friction between you and the family members who reside with you? How supportive are your spouses of your decision to bet the horses from home?

Please forgive me if these questions are intrusive; where I come from, horse playing carries a terrible stigma...and I was just wondering if others here face similar concerns.

GameTheory
03-18-2015, 02:40 AM
May I ask an innocent and unassuming question?

Does your online wagering create any friction between you and the family members who reside with you? How supportive are your spouses of your decision to bet the horses from home?

Please forgive me if these questions are intrusive; where I come from, horse playing carries a terrible stigma...and I was just wondering if others here face similar concerns.
Better at home than at the track...

jk3521
03-18-2015, 06:58 AM
May I ask an innocent and unassuming question?

Does your online wagering create any friction between you and the family members who reside with you? How supportive are your spouses of your decision to bet the horses from home?

Please forgive me if these questions are intrusive; where I come from, horse playing carries a terrible stigma...and I was just wondering if others here face similar concerns.
You tell people now that you bet the horses and they look at you like you're some kind of a degenerate. When I was dating my wife,her sister had her husband who was a policeman check me out. She was cautioned not to marry me because I was a gambler. I never have bet over my head and my wife said "it's your hobby, every man needs a hobby."

horses4courses
03-18-2015, 11:34 AM
I've been betting online for 10 years now.
My family is well used to it, and having funds tracked in and out
through my bank account has been a revelation.

Betting horses is an inexpensive hobby for me.
Four of the years showed a profit, and the losing years
have always been minimal. Good deal all around. :ThmbUp:

Living within a few miles of Nevada race/sports books,
I have that option for house bets, futures, etc., should I choose.
Playing online is much more convenient, though.

tlinetrader
03-18-2015, 12:57 PM
A bigger source of online friction in my family is my wife's online shopping. Fortunately, she can't link her purchases to the funds in my wagering account.

DeltaLover
03-18-2015, 01:08 PM
Please forgive me if these questions are intrusive; where I come from, horse playing carries a terrible stigma...and I was just wondering if others here face similar concerns.

Horse players, have a really bad reputation (both among themselves and within the real world) and based on my experience this is not unjustifiable, given the terrible financial problems most of them are facing...

If I had to bet from home, my very first concern would had been, to not having any children or teenagers around, since I do not think this would ever present a good example to them..

ReplayRandall
03-18-2015, 01:30 PM
Horse players, have a really bad reputation (both among themselves and within the real world) and based on my experience this is not unjustifiable, given the terrible financial problems most of them are facing...

If I had to bet from home, my very first concern would had been, to not having any children or teenagers around, since I do not think this would ever present a good example to them..
Just show them your stock market portfolio, that should make you respectable. :) .....Biggest gambling enterprise in the world and yet society gives a "good" reputation to those who gamble there; Hypocrisy at it's highest level. The key to our children's education of how the world works is to teach them that instead of avoiding gambling/risk, learn how to gamble/risk "well" as the goal, whatever the endeavor.....

woodtoo
03-18-2015, 01:34 PM
Just show them your stock market portfolio, that should make you respectable. :) .....Biggest gambling enterprise in the world and yet society gives a "good" reputation to those who gamble there; Hypocrisy at it's highest level. The key to our children's education of how the world works is to teach them that instead of avoiding gambling/risk, learn how to gamble/risk "well" as the goal, whatever the endeavor.....
Well stated. :ThmbUp:

DeltaLover
03-18-2015, 01:36 PM
Biggest gambling enterprise in the world and yet society gives a "good" reputation to those who gamble there; Hypocrisy at it's highest level.

Words of wisdom! Although I have to admit that it is not always hypocrisy as ignorance plays a role as well,

I had to add that I would not encourage a young kid to get involved with trading either..

Capper Al
03-18-2015, 01:44 PM
My wife tolerates my time coding and wagering. I make sure that we do the things we like to do together and never have horseracing get in the way. I agree about the stigma with gambling, and it's even worse with horseracing.

raybo
03-18-2015, 06:17 PM
My better half is very supportive of my involvement in horse racing, being retired, racing is my job and provides additional income we both use. There wouldn't be a problem if I were losing money either, because I would not be involved in the game at that point anyway.

Fwizard
03-19-2015, 10:51 AM
My wife likes the fact I can gamble from home--She knows if I am between bets I can do stuff around the house ...can't do that at the track...

Vinnie
03-19-2015, 05:52 PM
I am grateful for online wagering opportunities and for the ability to watch the races from home. I am also very happy that my wife too enjoys the sport very much and often times urges me to make wagers. My wife has seen first hand what you can win and finds the risk/reward aspect very fascinating. My spouse understands that Thoroughbred horse racing is my favorite avocation in the entire world and she has some level of appreciation of it due to my love for the game. :)

If I didn't have a wife like I do I am sure that it would cause a great deal of friction between us where horse racing is concerned.

All the BEST!

Vinnie

Longshot6977
03-19-2015, 05:56 PM
May I ask an innocent and unassuming question?

Does your online wagering create any friction between you and the family members who reside with you? How supportive are your spouses of your decision to bet the horses from home?

Please forgive me if these questions are intrusive; where I come from, horse playing carries a terrible stigma...and I was just wondering if others here face similar concerns.

No friction created here. As a matter of fact, about 9 years ago I was laid up for a few months with a broken leg and couldn't drive. My wife drove to Freehold Raceway to make a nice deposit in my 4NJBETS account. She even buys goodies for my cooler to take when I go to Monmouth Park. I take her sometimes to Saratoga or Monmouth. She knows I am very good with money management and never gives me a hard time with horseracing. I do most of my horse betting from my home account. If I win a nice exacta or tri that pays a few hundred or more, I am sure to tell her and my adult son and they say congrats. But wouldn't ya know it, she says I should've had more money on those winning bets and tells me i should bet MORE, LOL. :eek:
Like I said, I am the one with the good money management and have to account for losing bets while (like someone else mentioned) she creates friction by spending too much on crap at the stores. By the way, my gambling money, win or lose, is separate from any household money. Hope this answers your question Thask. :)

Greyfox
03-19-2015, 06:53 PM
It's the Sport of Kings....no stigma where I live.
My family and friends have always been supportive of my play.
I grew up in a family of horse players as a child.
My parents family lines go back several generations in horse racing on both sides.
None of us were ever embarrassed to tell people we play the horses.
Indeed, I have a cousin in Ireland who owns and raises thoroughbreds and he's well respected.
Those who own horses here are well respected too and so are most horse players.

Hoofless_Wonder
03-19-2015, 10:58 PM
Confirmed bachelor, so it's not an issue - though some of my neighbors may be wondering what's going on at 1:30 AM when I'm playing Sha Tin, and yelling, "Come on Five, you sorry sack of crap!!! Lift! Lift you pig!!! Get him UP! Prebble, get him UP!!!!"

On the other hand, a couple of my buddies who are married and have kids are pretty hesitant to play the ponies at home, especially in front of the kids - even though they're now grown up. One doesn't even like his son to know about his football or hoops bets. The other takes some heat from his wife when on Twinspires, but he gets away with it 'cause it's a small amount of "play money" from their bank account. Little does she know much larger chunks of cash are in play in the local casino's slots, from the "dark fund" of more serious money.

Friction? I would think that as long as the online player continues to be the major breadwinner of the household, that shouldn't be a problem for the spouse - though introducing "female logic" into that equation is, err, dicey..... :)

ArlJim78
03-20-2015, 11:10 AM
I live alone so no issue, but I have a suggestion for thaskalos.
That this kind of gambling has a stigma in some circles is clear, but here is how I would put it to the others in the household. They must obviously know that you do gamble on the horses when you go out of the house, and they must know that this is something you are passionate about and will not give up, so why not try to convince them to concede to give you some space to do it from home without harassment? This way you can be closer to the family correct? not that they need to be involved with it but its so much more convenient and productive to do it from home because you can multi task, take breaks, do things around the house, etc. Wouldn't the others prefer that you be in the home rather than out for hours on end at some seedy OTB?

riskman
03-20-2015, 11:30 AM
Better at home than at the track...


That is exactly how my family views horse race handicapping and gambling. They know it is part of me since the mid eighties and it will not change unless the game changes to an extent that I decide to leave voluntarily.

thaskalos
03-20-2015, 02:36 PM
I live alone so no issue, but I have a suggestion for thaskalos.
That this kind of gambling has a stigma in some circles is clear, but here is how I would put it to the others in the household. They must obviously know that you do gamble on the horses when you go out of the house, and they must know that this is something you are passionate about and will not give up, so why not try to convince them to concede to give you some space to do it from home without harassment? This way you can be closer to the family correct? not that they need to be involved with it but its so much more convenient and productive to do it from home because you can multi task, take breaks, do things around the house, etc. Wouldn't the others prefer that you be in the home rather than out for hours on end at some seedy OTB?
It has been only my son and I for the last 11 years...and he is now 16 years old. I do bet online...but not after he gets home from school. I know that I am in the minority here in this regard...but I really do believe that exposing your kids to this game at a young age is a form of child abuse. IMO, the Greeks are second only to the Chinese in their desire for irresponsible gambling...and horror stories directly related to gambling are commonplace in Greek culture. I don't have to go any further than the memories of my own life, to see the serious complications that gambling -- and horse racing in particular -- can present in the life of a promising youngster.

My son has been noticing all the gambling-related literature around our house, of course, and knows that his dad is a "gambler"...although he doesn't know that I gamble practically every day. A couple of years ago, he asked me if I would teach him how to bet the horses...and the request paralyzed me with fear. I told him that he was much too young for that game...and that we would revisit the conversation in a couple of years...when he was a little older. For the last couple of years, I have been the "model dad", and have kept him totally isolated from horse racing...but he brought the topic back up to me a few days ago...and that was the reason for this thread.

I know that many here have been introduced to horse racing by their fathers as young children...and that they cherish the experience, and the memories that this experience has created. I guess it is only natural for these people to criticize what I say here...and to point out to me that this scenario also has a pleasant, sentimental side. I have thought of this too...but the memories of my own past are still much too strong. The thought of my son traveling down the same life path as me just devastates me.

They say that the propensity to gamble might be in the genes, and this disturbing thought has accompanied me on many a sleepless night.

ArlJim78
03-20-2015, 03:23 PM
It has been only my son and I for the last 11 years...and he is now 16 years old. I do bet online...but not after he gets home from school. I know that I am in the minority here in this regard...but I really do believe that exposing your kids to this game at a young age is a form of child abuse. IMO, the Greeks are second only to the Chinese in their desire for irresponsible gambling...and horror stories directly related to gambling are commonplace in Greek culture. I don't have to go any further than the memories of my own life, to see the serious complications that gambling -- and horse racing in particular -- can present in the life of a promising youngster.

My son has been noticing all the gambling-related literature around our house, of course, and knows that his dad is a "gambler"...although he doesn't know that I gamble practically every day. A couple of years ago, he asked me if I would teach him how to bet the horses...and the request paralyzed me with fear. I told him that he was much too young for that game...and that we would revisit the conversation in a couple of years...when he was a little older. For the last couple of years, I have been the "model dad", and have kept him totally isolated from horse racing...but he brought the topic back up to me a few days ago...and that was the reason for this thread.

I know that many here have been introduced to horse racing by their fathers as young children...and that they cherish the experience, and the memories that this experience has created. I guess it is only natural for these people to criticize what I say here...and to point out to me that this scenario also has a pleasant, sentimental side. I have thought of this too...but the memories of my own past are still much too strong. The thought of my son traveling down the same life path as me just devastates me.

They say that the propensity to gamble might be in the genes, and this disturbing thought has accompanied me on many a sleepless night.
In that situation I don't know that you are in the minority, and now I understand exactly where you're at. That's a tough one because he is showing interest which is not what you wanted to see I'm sure. I think I'd try to keep it hidden from him as much as possible, perhaps only acknowledge it as a hobby. I wouldn't wish the path I've taken with respect to gambling on anyone much less a family member. It was different back in the day before simulcasting when you had to journey to the track for an afternoon of 9 or 10 races max. A father and son might be able to enjoy that and have some great memories. But getting involved online is the last thing you want a young person to do. The problem is, they're smart and they can figure this stuff out on their own. On the other hand, if he truly wants to learn about it who better to mentor him than yourself?
No easy answer. I wish you luck finding the right approach.

raybo
03-20-2015, 04:59 PM
It has been only my son and I for the last 11 years...and he is now 16 years old. I do bet online...but not after he gets home from school. I know that I am in the minority here in this regard...but I really do believe that exposing your kids to this game at a young age is a form of child abuse. IMO, the Greeks are second only to the Chinese in their desire for irresponsible gambling...and horror stories directly related to gambling are commonplace in Greek culture. I don't have to go any further than the memories of my own life, to see the serious complications that gambling -- and horse racing in particular -- can present in the life of a promising youngster.

My son has been noticing all the gambling-related literature around our house, of course, and knows that his dad is a "gambler"...although he doesn't know that I gamble practically every day. A couple of years ago, he asked me if I would teach him how to bet the horses...and the request paralyzed me with fear. I told him that he was much too young for that game...and that we would revisit the conversation in a couple of years...when he was a little older. For the last couple of years, I have been the "model dad", and have kept him totally isolated from horse racing...but he brought the topic back up to me a few days ago...and that was the reason for this thread.

I know that many here have been introduced to horse racing by their fathers as young children...and that they cherish the experience, and the memories that this experience has created. I guess it is only natural for these people to criticize what I say here...and to point out to me that this scenario also has a pleasant, sentimental side. I have thought of this too...but the memories of my own past are still much too strong. The thought of my son traveling down the same life path as me just devastates me.

They say that the propensity to gamble might be in the genes, and this disturbing thought has accompanied me on many a sleepless night.

My kids have both queried me about my interest in horse race gambling, the only kind of gambling I do. When they first let me know of their interest they were early teens, and I told them that the game was not for everyone, nor should it be, and that they were much too young to make informed decisions about getting involved. I also told them that all of my work, and all of my knowledge about racing, would be theirs for the asking, later in life when I decided that they were mature enough to make that kind of decision.

They have both pursued honorable professions, my son is an Army Calvalry Scout (almost 8 years in, with 2 tours in the Middle East), and my daughter is in med school with a little more education left to go. They have not expressed any more interest in racing since their teens, and I have not mentioned it to them either. They are both at the age and maturity level to make informed decisions about gambling/investing so if they someday do request more info I will of course provide it.

Until then, mum is the word. I truly hope they share my disdain for generic "gambling", gambling just to be gambling, and so far, so good. :ThmbUp: (Although, one might say that pursuing the life of a Cavalry Scout or a physician, is something of a gamble anyway - LOL.)

EMD4ME
03-21-2015, 02:06 AM
May I ask an innocent and unassuming question?

Does your online wagering create any friction between you and the family members who reside with you? How supportive are your spouses of your decision to bet the horses from home?

Please forgive me if these questions are intrusive; where I come from, horse playing carries a terrible stigma...and I was just wondering if others here face similar concerns.

I was introduced to this game in my mother's womb and I sat in a parking lot, in a baby carriage while my mom and dad took turns playing 2-3 races each at Monmouth, Penn National, Charles Town, Bowie, Shenandoah Downs, Liberty Bell, Rosecroft etc.

I would never trade those memories FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. Horse Racing is one of the many bonds that my mom and dad had. I will never forget travelling to Monmouth from Astoria NY and then Atlantic City for a live doubleheader many times a summer when I was 12 15 or 17.

As the years went on, I moved out partially for a 10 year relationship and our time together (mom and dad) was spent at Aqueduct, Belmont, Meadowlands or at home with the races on. I would NEVER EVER trade those memories, ever.

Could I have been richer if I didn't play the horses? yes. But I would be poorer, MUCH poorer with memories. The bonding. The collaborative handicapping, the $50,000 score together, the tough beats for dozens of thousands etc. are worth it.

Now, on March 16, 2015, my mom got a call from my aunt (who is terminal and in the last stages) and rushed over to see her (maybe for the last time). She walked there asap. it was a 5 block walk.

On the 5th and last block, 70-80 feet from the house, a car that was at the light, suddenly accelerated, the tires screeched. The car went on a 10 o'clock turn heading north, into the oncoming lane, accelerated onto the sidewalk and into the jewelry store. My mother was caught in the middle. My aunt was watching from the window, eagerly awaiting her sister who she loves dearly.

I happened to be worried and walked 10 minutes behind my mother ( I was at work but knew my aunt was ill and my mom was going to see her). As I turned the corner, I saw the 5 ambulances, cop cars, fire trucks etc. People screemed: That's her son.

Mom was rushed to the hospital with brain hemorrhaging, a broken hip, broken shoulder, 4 fractures of the neck and spine and a lacerated kidney. She takes Coumadin since her triple bypass on Jan 2nd, 2002 and is not allowed to bleed.

Since then my world stopped. I have been at the hospital for 104 hours straight minus 5 hours to go see my terminal aunt.

Jesus has saved her so far 3 times. (with the car, with the brain hemorrhaging-you can't ever bleed while on Coumadin and with her hip surgery-again you can't bleed while on Coumadin and she has a heart issue).

Although she is in dire straights, I look forward to her recovery.

Her long recovery, knock on wood, will entail tons of on line horse playing. I wish I had a son to keep her company. I wish I had a son to help keep her mind elsewhere by studying and playing horse races together from home. She does have that son, he is me but I wish I had a son to add to that love.

My mother is a fixture at AQU and BEL. Most employees know this angel, all horseplayers know this angel. She won't make it to a track for a long time.

At least in this little world, on line horse playing is a valuable jewel.

I can go on for another 12 hours about this topic but to be blunt, this is my first time I have gone on line since the incident and I feel guilty sitting here typing on line while she lays next to me in this hospital bed.

Not saying you shouldn't protect your son or to corrupt him. Just don't take away the memories that he could share with you and keep them all in your heart and soul.

I still remember "Chicago Edition". He won the last race at AC one warm summer night and paid $62 to win. Dad had $100 on him and scored out. It was a short 3 hour drive home after that win.

I'll never forget closing the pick 6 on Saturday April 19, 2010 for $50,000. I was watching the race on Channel 71, NYCOTB with mom right next to me. Just happened to not go to the track that day and play from my mom's house.

If I would've hit the pick 6 at the track that day, alone, it wouldn't have been the same.

The look on her face, as Ramon steered Balast home in that turf route, was priceless. Without on line horse playing, that look would not be in my memory banks.

LottaKash
03-21-2015, 02:13 AM
"Michael, I didn't want this for you" - Don Vito Corleone

And we wonder why the sport is dying, slowly but surely... :confused:

098poi
03-21-2015, 11:07 AM
It has been only my son and I for the last 11 years...and he is now 16 years old. I do bet online...but not after he gets home from school. I know that I am in the minority here in this regard...but I really do believe that exposing your kids to this game at a young age is a form of child abuse. IMO, the Greeks are second only to the Chinese in their desire for irresponsible gambling...and horror stories directly related to gambling are commonplace in Greek culture. I don't have to go any further than the memories of my own life, to see the serious complications that gambling -- and horse racing in particular -- can present in the life of a promising youngster.

My son has been noticing all the gambling-related literature around our house, of course, and knows that his dad is a "gambler"...although he doesn't know that I gamble practically every day. A couple of years ago, he asked me if I would teach him how to bet the horses...and the request paralyzed me with fear. I told him that he was much too young for that game...and that we would revisit the conversation in a couple of years...when he was a little older. For the last couple of years, I have been the "model dad", and have kept him totally isolated from horse racing...but he brought the topic back up to me a few days ago...and that was the reason for this thread.

I know that many here have been introduced to horse racing by their fathers as young children...and that they cherish the experience, and the memories that this experience has created. I guess it is only natural for these people to criticize what I say here...and to point out to me that this scenario also has a pleasant, sentimental side. I have thought of this too...but the memories of my own past are still much too strong. The thought of my son traveling down the same life path as me just devastates me.

They say that the propensity to gamble might be in the genes, and this disturbing thought has accompanied me on many a sleepless night.

It's good that you are aware of the downside and want to protect your son. The reality is compulsive gambling is a real and dangerous thing. If your son has a predisposition he won't need horse racing for it to manifest. It can come in any form, lottery, poker, slots etc. You can do your best to inform him early that gambling should be viewed as entertainment and not a way to get rich. Handicapping is not something everyone takes to so introduce him to that and probably quickly he will show an interest or not. Unfortunately if he has a bent towards gambling words of wisdom and logic don't do too much. I guess you'll just have to be the loving caring Dad you are and be available to help him in any way you can. If he goes down that road you can't really blame yourself. Best of luck to you.

Shelby
03-21-2015, 11:34 AM
My husband is very supportive. In fact, he gets really excited when I print a form out. I haven't been betting a lot lately....guess I'm saving up for Derby day.

olddaddy
03-21-2015, 03:09 PM
Everyone wants to mentor their offspring and lead them down the right path to happiness and success. Gambling is a lot like alcohol, some can use it as a means for recreation and to others it is a life ruiner. Its a slippery slope introducing a loved one to either because you dont know how it will affect them. We all know the best path to show ones loved ones, but thats easier said than done.

DeltaLover
03-21-2015, 03:17 PM
I was introduced to this game in my mother's womb and I sat in a parking lot, in a baby carriage while my mom and dad took turns playing 2-3 races each at Monmouth, Penn National, Charles Town, Bowie, Shenandoah Downs, Liberty Bell, Rosecroft etc.

I would never trade those memories FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. Horse Racing is one of the many bonds that my mom and dad had. I will never forget travelling to Monmouth from Astoria NY and then Atlantic City for a live doubleheader many times a summer when I was 12 15 or 17.

As the years went on, I moved out partially for a 10 year relationship and our time together (mom and dad) was spent at Aqueduct, Belmont, Meadowlands or at home with the races on. I would NEVER EVER trade those memories, ever.

Could I have been richer if I didn't play the horses? yes. But I would be poorer, MUCH poorer with memories. The bonding. The collaborative handicapping, the $50,000 score together, the tough beats for dozens of thousands etc. are worth it.

Now, on March 16, 2015, my mom got a call from my aunt (who is terminal and in the last stages) and rushed over to see her (maybe for the last time). She walked there asap. it was a 5 block walk.

On the 5th and last block, 70-80 feet from the house, a car that was at the light, suddenly accelerated, the tires screeched. The car went on a 10 o'clock turn heading north, into the oncoming lane, accelerated onto the sidewalk and into the jewelry store. My mother was caught in the middle. My aunt was watching from the window, eagerly awaiting her sister who she loves dearly.

I happened to be worried and walked 10 minutes behind my mother ( I was at work but knew my aunt was ill and my mom was going to see her). As I turned the corner, I saw the 5 ambulances, cop cars, fire trucks etc. People screemed: That's her son.

Mom was rushed to the hospital with brain hemorrhaging, a broken hip, broken shoulder, 4 fractures of the neck and spine and a lacerated kidney. She takes Coumadin since her triple bypass on Jan 2nd, 2002 and is not allowed to bleed.

Since then my world stopped. I have been at the hospital for 104 hours straight minus 5 hours to go see my terminal aunt.

Jesus has saved her so far 3 times. (with the car, with the brain hemorrhaging-you can't ever bleed while on Coumadin and with her hip surgery-again you can't bleed while on Coumadin and she has a heart issue).

Although she is in dire straights, I look forward to her recovery.

Her long recovery, knock on wood, will entail tons of on line horse playing. I wish I had a son to keep her company. I wish I had a son to help keep her mind elsewhere by studying and playing horse races together from home. She does have that son, he is me but I wish I had a son to add to that love.

My mother is a fixture at AQU and BEL. Most employees know this angel, all horseplayers know this angel. She won't make it to a track for a long time.

At least in this little world, on line horse playing is a valuable jewel.

I can go on for another 12 hours about this topic but to be blunt, this is my first time I have gone on line since the incident and I feel guilty sitting here typing on line while she lays next to me in this hospital bed.

Not saying you shouldn't protect your son or to corrupt him. Just don't take away the memories that he could share with you and keep them all in your heart and soul.

I still remember "Chicago Edition". He won the last race at AC one warm summer night and paid $62 to win. Dad had $100 on him and scored out. It was a short 3 hour drive home after that win.

I'll never forget closing the pick 6 on Saturday April 19, 2010 for $50,000. I was watching the race on Channel 71, NYCOTB with mom right next to me. Just happened to not go to the track that day and play from my mom's house.

If I would've hit the pick 6 at the track that day, alone, it wouldn't have been the same.

The look on her face, as Ramon steered Balast home in that turf route, was pricelesll..s. Without on line horse playing, that look would not be in my memory banks.

Your inbox is full... Check your email when you got the chance...

Hoofless_Wonder
03-21-2015, 06:52 PM
EMD, that's as powerful emotional post as I've ever read here at PA. Your strength of character and well-prioritized outlook on life are clearly expressed. Make sure you take care of yourself. I'm knocking on wood for you, your mom and your aunt.

Thask, you aren't doing your son any favors by "sheltering" him from gambling. Not being a parent, it's easy for me to play armchair daddy, but you really should expose him to all aspects of it. The life lessons are priceless. My own father demonstrated and passed on integrity, a hard work ethic, and lessons in responsibility. He sheltered me though, and failed to reveal how hard life can be, and how sinister the problems with drugs, addictions, gambling, cheating, and how petty people really are - at times. He subscribed to the approach of getting a college degree, getting a "good" job, and declined to point out how decisions early in life affect you forever. His father was an alcoholic and chronic degenerate gambler who beat up his mom, and it wasn't until years after I left the house I discovered that. I don't blame my father at all for this shortcoming in my education, but I sure wish someone had shown me more of the grit of reality.

I wish instead he had exposed me to people with these kinds of problems, and pointed out the choices and consequences in play. Don't you think a trip to the OTB or track can provide numerous examples of "what not to do in life"?

You've posted in the past the importance of a mentor you had to get you over the hump of the challenges of gambling. It appears that time has arrived for you and your son.

judd
03-21-2015, 07:47 PM
she sees me on Pace advantage and says ***WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE CUPID GIRLS (SHE SEES THE PHOTOS) :lol: :bang: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

thaskalos
03-21-2015, 08:00 PM
"Michael, I didn't want this for you" - Don Vito Corleone

And we wonder why the sport is dying, slowly but surely... :confused:
My son doesn't need to follow in my footsteps. I've supported this game enough for the both of us.

Grits
03-22-2015, 12:17 AM
EMD4ME, prayers of strength and healing for your mom. <3

And Hoofless, I believe 65 to 70% of life is about grit.

Having it, not being exposed to it. The tests make us stronger. ;)

LottaKash
03-22-2015, 01:11 AM
My son doesn't need to follow in my footsteps. I've supported this game enough for the both of us.

I agree that a son doesn't need or have to follow in his Daddy's footsteps, especially a gambling loser-dad, but in your instance I'd say that, if he was curious enough and chose to dabble a bit, he would surely have a heck of a mentor to show him the way to a possible paying hobby or a decent shot at some winning fun in a leisure-time alternative to life's daily grind....Wouldn't it be nice to have someone that you care about, take in a day at the races with you from time to time... You know just to be sociable and close...One needn't be a "degenerate" gambler for that kind of day out..

Tall One
03-22-2015, 01:22 AM
I agree that a son doesn't need or have to follow in his Daddy's footsteps, especially a gambling loser-dad, but in your instance I'd say that, if he was curious enough and chose to dabble a bit, he would surely have a heck of a mentor to show him the way to a possible paying hobby or a decent shot at some winning fun in a leisure-time alternative to life's daily grind....Wouldn't it be nice to have someone that you care about, take in a day at the races with you from time to time... You know just to be sociable and close...One needn't be a "degenerate" gambler for that kind of day out..


Well said, Kash, and, IMO, a good way to look at it, thask.

thaskalos
03-22-2015, 03:10 AM
I was introduced to this game in my mother's womb and I sat in a parking lot, in a baby carriage while my mom and dad took turns playing 2-3 races each at Monmouth, Penn National, Charles Town, Bowie, Shenandoah Downs, Liberty Bell, Rosecroft etc.

I would never trade those memories FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. Horse Racing is one of the many bonds that my mom and dad had. I will never forget travelling to Monmouth from Astoria NY and then Atlantic City for a live doubleheader many times a summer when I was 12 15 or 17.

As the years went on, I moved out partially for a 10 year relationship and our time together (mom and dad) was spent at Aqueduct, Belmont, Meadowlands or at home with the races on. I would NEVER EVER trade those memories, ever.

Could I have been richer if I didn't play the horses? yes. But I would be poorer, MUCH poorer with memories. The bonding. The collaborative handicapping, the $50,000 score together, the tough beats for dozens of thousands etc. are worth it.

Now, on March 16, 2015, my mom got a call from my aunt (who is terminal and in the last stages) and rushed over to see her (maybe for the last time). She walked there asap. it was a 5 block walk.

On the 5th and last block, 70-80 feet from the house, a car that was at the light, suddenly accelerated, the tires screeched. The car went on a 10 o'clock turn heading north, into the oncoming lane, accelerated onto the sidewalk and into the jewelry store. My mother was caught in the middle. My aunt was watching from the window, eagerly awaiting her sister who she loves dearly.

I happened to be worried and walked 10 minutes behind my mother ( I was at work but knew my aunt was ill and my mom was going to see her). As I turned the corner, I saw the 5 ambulances, cop cars, fire trucks etc. People screemed: That's her son.

Mom was rushed to the hospital with brain hemorrhaging, a broken hip, broken shoulder, 4 fractures of the neck and spine and a lacerated kidney. She takes Coumadin since her triple bypass on Jan 2nd, 2002 and is not allowed to bleed.

Since then my world stopped. I have been at the hospital for 104 hours straight minus 5 hours to go see my terminal aunt.

Jesus has saved her so far 3 times. (with the car, with the brain hemorrhaging-you can't ever bleed while on Coumadin and with her hip surgery-again you can't bleed while on Coumadin and she has a heart issue).

Although she is in dire straights, I look forward to her recovery.

Her long recovery, knock on wood, will entail tons of on line horse playing. I wish I had a son to keep her company. I wish I had a son to help keep her mind elsewhere by studying and playing horse races together from home. She does have that son, he is me but I wish I had a son to add to that love.

My mother is a fixture at AQU and BEL. Most employees know this angel, all horseplayers know this angel. She won't make it to a track for a long time.

At least in this little world, on line horse playing is a valuable jewel.

I can go on for another 12 hours about this topic but to be blunt, this is my first time I have gone on line since the incident and I feel guilty sitting here typing on line while she lays next to me in this hospital bed.

Not saying you shouldn't protect your son or to corrupt him. Just don't take away the memories that he could share with you and keep them all in your heart and soul.

I still remember "Chicago Edition". He won the last race at AC one warm summer night and paid $62 to win. Dad had $100 on him and scored out. It was a short 3 hour drive home after that win.

I'll never forget closing the pick 6 on Saturday April 19, 2010 for $50,000. I was watching the race on Channel 71, NYCOTB with mom right next to me. Just happened to not go to the track that day and play from my mom's house.

If I would've hit the pick 6 at the track that day, alone, it wouldn't have been the same.

The look on her face, as Ramon steered Balast home in that turf route, was priceless. Without on line horse playing, that look would not be in my memory banks.
I am deeply saddened to hear about the ordeal that you and your family are facing...and my thoughts and prayers go out to your mom and your aunt. May they both have a swift and full recovery.

098poi
03-22-2015, 08:31 AM
EMD4ME

my thoughts and prayers go out to you in this difficult time

johnhannibalsmith
03-22-2015, 12:19 PM
It has been only my son and I for the last 11 years.....

I give you credit for being a Dad. Scenarios like this one convinced me I couldn't be good at it and still be good at anything else too.

Hoofless_Wonder
03-22-2015, 10:15 PM
My son doesn't need to follow in my footsteps. I've supported this game enough for the both of us.

Your son will blaze his own trail in life, and being Son of Thask, it's most likely to be far from average.

But if he's typical in some ways, sheltering him from an activity he's expressed interest in already simply assures he'll learn about it from other sources. Growing up, my dad wanted me to be a business major and have a family, like him. Instead, I majored in technical fields and live the life of Riley as a bachelor. My dad didn't want me to ride motorcycles, drink beer, gamble or buy a handgun.

As soon as I had some extra scratch upon graduating from college, I bought a 1982 Honda CX-500, and a FIE Titan Tiger .38 pistol. A couple of years later I was betting football, playing poker and going to the races with a degenerate sales guy that worked for my dad. And of course, I started drinking beer in college as soon as I moved out of the house.

Today, 35 years later, after wrapping up some wagering at Santa Anita, I'm enjoying a cold Stella Artois, checking on the LED light order for my new 2015 R1200 GS due to arrive this week, and pondering whether I should swap out my Kimber .45 for a nice HK .45.

At least I'm displaying some discipline and skipping the NCAA tourney this year..... :cool:

thaskalos
03-23-2015, 01:06 AM
Your son will blaze his own trail in life, and being Son of Thask, it's most likely to be far from average.

But if he's typical in some ways, sheltering him from an activity he's expressed interest in already simply assures he'll learn about it from other sources. Growing up, my dad wanted me to be a business major and have a family, like him. Instead, I majored in technical fields and live the life of Riley as a bachelor. My dad didn't want me to ride motorcycles, drink beer, gamble or buy a handgun.

As soon as I had some extra scratch upon graduating from college, I bought a 1982 Honda CX-500, and a FIE Titan Tiger .38 pistol. A couple of years later I was betting football, playing poker and going to the races with a degenerate sales guy that worked for my dad. And of course, I started drinking beer in college as soon as I moved out of the house.

Today, 35 years later, after wrapping up some wagering at Santa Anita, I'm enjoying a cold Stella Artois, checking on the LED light order for my new 2015 R1200 GS due to arrive this week, and pondering whether I should swap out my Kimber .45 for a nice HK .45.

At least I'm displaying some discipline and skipping the NCAA tourney this year..... :cool:

I understand what you are saying, HW...and I appreciate the compliment. Yes...I have often posted here about the importance of a true mentor, and, truth be told, I did expect to have this sort of conversation with my son somewhere down the line...but I was hoping that he would be a little older than 16 when that time came.

I could be wrong on this one -- I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed -- but I've always thought that gambling demanded a certain type of "maturity" which reaches beyond the advice that even a great mentor could provide. It has occurred to me, after spending a great deal of time with like-minded horseplayers...that other people cannot recognize the "truth" in what you tell them unless they can filter it through their own playing experiences.

raybo
03-23-2015, 03:10 AM
I understand what you are saying, HW...and I appreciate the compliment. Yes...I have often posted here about the importance of a true mentor, and, truth be told, I did expect to have this sort of conversation with my son somewhere down the line...but I was hoping that he would be a little older than 16 when that time came.

I could be wrong on this one -- I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed -- but I've always thought that gambling demanded a certain type of "maturity" which reaches beyond the advice that even a great mentor could provide. It has occurred to me, after spending a great deal of time with like-minded horseplayers...that other people cannot recognize the "truth" in what you tell them unless they can filter it through their own playing experiences.

Don't you agree that sometimes it's that "filter it through their own playing experiences" that is the problem? When someone has lots of experience, accepting something that doesn't jive with those experiences can be much less likely to happen than with someone having a clean slate, and an open mind. "Unlearning" previous experience, and "assumed" or "supposed" knowledge, can severely hamper the willingness to explore new thoughts, ideas, and approaches.

I can't tell you how many people I've run into, regarding my program, who just can't get past what they've always done, as long time losing players, with years, or decades, of racing experience behind them. Trying to get them to think "outside the box" of previous experience can be extremely difficult.

So, sometimes, for some people with little or no racing experience (or life experience for that matter), it's much easier for suggestions or advice to at least be seriously considered and explored.

I was lucky. When I met my racing mentor I knew absolutely nothing about this game. But, that worked to my advantage, and to my mentor's efforts to teach me. I had no "unlearning" to do, so he had an open slate on which to write. When he introduced me to the philosophy of analyzing, with an unbiased mind, things that most others reject outright, I didn't even question it, because I had no known reason for doing so. That philosophy remains with me to this day.

One of the first things that he told me about racing, and IMO this applies to anyone new to gambling on horse races (especially younger people), was: "This game will eat you up and spit you out", and paraphrasing the rest, "if you don't know what you're doing and can't control your actions".

PaceAdvantage
03-23-2015, 05:24 PM
I was introduced to this game in my mother's womb and I sat in a parking lot, in a baby carriage while my mom and dad took turns playing 2-3 races each at Monmouth, Penn National, Charles Town, Bowie, Shenandoah Downs, Liberty Bell, Rosecroft etc.

I would never trade those memories FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. Horse Racing is one of the many bonds that my mom and dad had. I will never forget travelling to Monmouth from Astoria NY and then Atlantic City for a live doubleheader many times a summer when I was 12 15 or 17.

As the years went on, I moved out partially for a 10 year relationship and our time together (mom and dad) was spent at Aqueduct, Belmont, Meadowlands or at home with the races on. I would NEVER EVER trade those memories, ever.

Could I have been richer if I didn't play the horses? yes. But I would be poorer, MUCH poorer with memories. The bonding. The collaborative handicapping, the $50,000 score together, the tough beats for dozens of thousands etc. are worth it.

Now, on March 16, 2015, my mom got a call from my aunt (who is terminal and in the last stages) and rushed over to see her (maybe for the last time). She walked there asap. it was a 5 block walk.

On the 5th and last block, 70-80 feet from the house, a car that was at the light, suddenly accelerated, the tires screeched. The car went on a 10 o'clock turn heading north, into the oncoming lane, accelerated onto the sidewalk and into the jewelry store. My mother was caught in the middle. My aunt was watching from the window, eagerly awaiting her sister who she loves dearly.

I happened to be worried and walked 10 minutes behind my mother ( I was at work but knew my aunt was ill and my mom was going to see her). As I turned the corner, I saw the 5 ambulances, cop cars, fire trucks etc. People screemed: That's her son.

Mom was rushed to the hospital with brain hemorrhaging, a broken hip, broken shoulder, 4 fractures of the neck and spine and a lacerated kidney. She takes Coumadin since her triple bypass on Jan 2nd, 2002 and is not allowed to bleed.

Since then my world stopped. I have been at the hospital for 104 hours straight minus 5 hours to go see my terminal aunt.

Jesus has saved her so far 3 times. (with the car, with the brain hemorrhaging-you can't ever bleed while on Coumadin and with her hip surgery-again you can't bleed while on Coumadin and she has a heart issue).

Although she is in dire straights, I look forward to her recovery.

Her long recovery, knock on wood, will entail tons of on line horse playing. I wish I had a son to keep her company. I wish I had a son to help keep her mind elsewhere by studying and playing horse races together from home. She does have that son, he is me but I wish I had a son to add to that love.

My mother is a fixture at AQU and BEL. Most employees know this angel, all horseplayers know this angel. She won't make it to a track for a long time.

At least in this little world, on line horse playing is a valuable jewel.

I can go on for another 12 hours about this topic but to be blunt, this is my first time I have gone on line since the incident and I feel guilty sitting here typing on line while she lays next to me in this hospital bed.

Not saying you shouldn't protect your son or to corrupt him. Just don't take away the memories that he could share with you and keep them all in your heart and soul.

I still remember "Chicago Edition". He won the last race at AC one warm summer night and paid $62 to win. Dad had $100 on him and scored out. It was a short 3 hour drive home after that win.

I'll never forget closing the pick 6 on Saturday April 19, 2010 for $50,000. I was watching the race on Channel 71, NYCOTB with mom right next to me. Just happened to not go to the track that day and play from my mom's house.

If I would've hit the pick 6 at the track that day, alone, it wouldn't have been the same.

The look on her face, as Ramon steered Balast home in that turf route, was priceless. Without on line horse playing, that look would not be in my memory banks.My God EMD4ME, I am speechless...I hope for the best for your mom, and your aunt...I'm so sorry this happened to your mom...

Tom
03-23-2015, 10:26 PM
Prayers to you and your family, EMD.
Sorry to hear.

Hoofless_Wonder
03-23-2015, 10:55 PM
I understand what you are saying, HW...and I appreciate the compliment. Yes...I have often posted here about the importance of a true mentor, and, truth be told, I did expect to have this sort of conversation with my son somewhere down the line...but I was hoping that he would be a little older than 16 when that time came.

I could be wrong on this one -- I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed -- but I've always thought that gambling demanded a certain type of "maturity" which reaches beyond the advice that even a great mentor could provide. It has occurred to me, after spending a great deal of time with like-minded horseplayers...that other people cannot recognize the "truth" in what you tell them unless they can filter it through their own playing experiences.

Agreed. But, if someone provides the mentoring early on, it should allow for "connecting the dots" more quickly later in life, whether or not it sinks in and is appreciated at the time. I attended the school of hard knocks (in some respects), and surely could have used a tutor at times....

reckless
03-24-2015, 12:58 PM
EMD4ME... my prayers and best wishes for you and your family.

God bless and watch over your Mom, aunt, and yourself, too.

whodoyoulike
03-24-2015, 02:57 PM
EMD4ME,

Just saw your post. Taking care of family is the most important thing one can do. I hope everything turns out well.

Vinnie
03-25-2015, 12:22 PM
EMD4ME:

Most sincere warm wishes and prayers go out to you and your family for nothing but good things to come to you. :)

Only wishing you the VERY BEST!

Vinnie

jahura2
03-26-2015, 08:02 PM
Been betting horses since I was 13 here in Central Ky., turn 59 Saturday and have built a strong 32 yr, 3 children, marriage despite my "questionable" hobby.
I do think online wagering has made things more acceptable in my household. As previously stated I am home during my wagering and get a lot of the honey do's done in between races.
I don't spend near as much on food or drink and don't come home intoxicated, no inebriated driving either!
As far as the kids are concerned they have witnessed a responsible gambler as I have never shirked any work responsibilities and have put all 3 through private schools and they have all earned college degrees. So there can also be a teaching moment for us horseplayers, you can have fun,gamble a bit and still be responsible.
I am sure I do not bet the volume that many on here do but I am a consistent weekend warrior that wagers year round.
Betting from home has been a blessing for me.
As far as blessings go I send them out to EMD4ME and to his family.

whodoyoulike
03-26-2015, 10:07 PM
Been betting horses since I was 13 here in Central Ky., turn 59 Saturday and have built a strong 32 yr, 3 children, marriage despite my "questionable" hobby.
I do think online wagering has made things more acceptable in my household. As previously stated I am home during my wagering and get a lot of the honey do's done in between races.
I don't spend near as much on food or drink and don't come home intoxicated, no inebriated driving either!
As far as the kids are concerned they have witnessed a responsible gambler as I have never shirked any work responsibilities and have put all 3 through private schools and they have all earned college degrees. So there can also be a teaching moment for us horseplayers, you can have fun,gamble a bit and still be responsible.
I am sure I do not bet the volume that many on here do but I am a consistent weekend warrior that wagers year round.
Betting from home has been a blessing for me.
As far as blessings go I send them out to EMD4ME and to his family.

Now that your 3 kids are out of school, I've been thinking of going back. We wouldn't want you to start spending all this extra discretionary funds at the races.

Appy
03-31-2015, 12:04 AM
May I ask an innocent and unassuming question?

Does your online wagering create any friction between you and the family members who reside with you? How supportive are your spouses of your decision to bet the horses from home?

Please forgive me if these questions are intrusive; where I come from, horse playing carries a terrible stigma...and I was just wondering if others here face similar concerns.

Thank you thaskalos!!!!!
You just caused me to discover the source of my problem.
I only have one spouse! :rolleyes:

Thanks to a governor elected here who supports the demise of Kansas horse racing by creating a slots monopoly favoring state owned casinos I really appreciate the outlet an online wagering account provides.
If I had more than one spouse supporting me I could play bigger! :D

jk3521
03-31-2015, 09:00 AM
Thank you thaskalos!!!!!
You just caused me to discover the source of my problem.
I only have one spouse! :rolleyes:

Thanks to a governor elected here who supports the demise of Kansas horse racing by creating a slots monopoly favoring state owned casinos I really appreciate the outlet an online wagering account provides.
If I had more than one spouse supporting me I could play bigger! :D

Are Mormons allowed to gamble ? :D