Teach
12-24-2013, 04:17 PM
Tales From The Casino
Chapter One: "The Case of the Newbie Dealer"
Chapter Two: "The Picture Frame"
Chapter Three: "What Number is Coming Up Next?"
Chapter Four: "Spin Till You Win!"
Chapter Five: "My Son's Telepathy"
"The Case of the Newbie Dealer"
She was pretty. Young. She looked like she had just graduated from high school. Gauche. Callow. Wet behind the ears. I felt I could take advantage of her. Yes, I'm a scheming degenerate old man. I'm watching her like a wolf eyes sheep. No, I'm not that degenerate (if you get my drift). I'm watching the way she deals roulette.
This may seem harsh, but I see the casino as I'd view "a war zone." This ain't fun and games. This is reality. This is money. Thee casino wants my money, one way or the other: gambling, food, lodging, souvenirs, etc. I want theirs.
Well, getting back to the pretty, young woman dealing roulette. To me, she seems like she's in another world. First day on the job? Doesn't want to be there? Would rather be making out with her boyfriend? Any of the above.
Well, I watch her for a while. She appears to be going through the motions. I check the recent outcomes on the overhead "washboard". I sense a pattern. She's not spinning the wheel while the game is idle.
What I sense is that she's becoming very predictable; that's the last thing casinos want. They've got the edge. Random...random...random...
Well, I take a shot and I quadrant her. I divide the wheel into fours. I cover numbers in one or two quadrants based on her previous spin outcomes. She doesn't let me down. I nail single-number hits on my first two tries. I then double-up. Triple-up. I'm making money. Is this luck? You might be tempted to say that; yet, I feel there is a method to my madness. I'm making serious money in a very short span of time.
Just then, out of the blue. Unexpectedly. The pit boss walks over to her; she's being replaced. Did the pit boss or eye-in-sky sense something. Right then and there I knew the jig was up. I left with a handsome return. But I was chagrined at the fact that I knew this was a once a blue moon opportunity that I failed to take full advantage of.
"The Picture Frame"
My friend "Bucko" Bob and I are having breakfast at the Foxwoods buffet. We both crave and need action even while we eating breakfast. We decide to try a keno gimmick we never tried before; it's called "The Picture Frame".
"The Picture Frame" is self-explanatory. What you're trying to do is to have numbers come up that are on the edge of the 80-number keno layout, thus the name, "Picture Frame."
Well, I knew we were on to something when the first two of the twenty numbers to be called came out on the edge. Then, incredibly, more an more edge-like numbers were coming up on the screen. "Bucko" is looking at me like we just won the lottery. Not quite. Yet, when that game ends, we made enough to easily pay for our breakfast. If we could have nailed one or two more numbers... Who knows, we could have been talking about a tax ticket.
Don't let it ever be said that you can't make money while simply eating breakfast.
"Spin Till You Win"
I will state at the outset that I'm not a big slots player. I rarely play them when I go to a casino. Yet, that morning, I was with my friend "Bucko". He tells me on the way to the casino that when he was playing slots the previous week, he noticed one or two machines near the buffet area that were repeatedly getting hit.
As I recall, I said, "Let's give it a try." I sat down in front of a dollar "Spin Till You Win" machine. I had never played this machine before in my life. As I remember, the machine had a symbol, that when landed on it, it would cause that reel to spin endlessly. In fact, sometimes it would spin, stop, and then start spinning again.
Well, wouldn't you know it, I hit a jackpot (I'm glad I put two silver dollars in). I believe three clowns came up. End result: $500. The attendant came by. She told me to put a coin in and press the button (casino policy) and then she handed me five "Benjies". After I tipped her, I gave "Bucko" the rest of my dollar coins as a "finder's fee".
"What Number Is Coming Up Next?"
I couldn't believe my ears. I'm shooti9ng craps in the Pequot wing of Foxwoods. I'm having a very good roll. I'm happy. Everyone around the table is happy. Like the TV ad for mail-order shoes. Happy...happy...happy.
Well, it's at this time, after I rolled about fifteen straight that this guy to my right asks, "What number is coming up next?" I just looked at him. In my mind I'm thinking, "You gotta be kidding me. If I knew that..."
As I think back, I didn't pull a Babe Ruth and point to centerfield and then hit a home run, yet I do remember my next toss was a number. In the end, I made some decent money for my own account and many others who were at the table. But as far as telling you what number will up on the dice. No way.
"My Son's Telepathy"
It's the early 1990s. my wife, my daughter, my son and I embarked on a trip to Aruba. We're staying at a place called "The Mill." They don't have a casino, yet there are nearby hotel/casinos on the Palm Coast.
Well, my son and I check one out. At the time, he's not quite old enough to play table games, but I give him money to play the slots.
In the meantime, I decide to play roulette. No luck. Just then, my son comes over. "How ya doin, Dad?" "Not well, Rob, not well at all," I say. My son sits down next to me. As the dealer is about to spin, my son whispers, "black, Dad, black!" I put ten chips on black. Bingo!
Well, this goes on for five straight spins. It's a scene out of the card-counting ways of Dustin Hoffman at the blackjack table in Vegas in the movie: The Rain Man."
In the end, I got healthy quickly thanks to my son's luck, or was it his ESP?
Chapter One: "The Case of the Newbie Dealer"
Chapter Two: "The Picture Frame"
Chapter Three: "What Number is Coming Up Next?"
Chapter Four: "Spin Till You Win!"
Chapter Five: "My Son's Telepathy"
"The Case of the Newbie Dealer"
She was pretty. Young. She looked like she had just graduated from high school. Gauche. Callow. Wet behind the ears. I felt I could take advantage of her. Yes, I'm a scheming degenerate old man. I'm watching her like a wolf eyes sheep. No, I'm not that degenerate (if you get my drift). I'm watching the way she deals roulette.
This may seem harsh, but I see the casino as I'd view "a war zone." This ain't fun and games. This is reality. This is money. Thee casino wants my money, one way or the other: gambling, food, lodging, souvenirs, etc. I want theirs.
Well, getting back to the pretty, young woman dealing roulette. To me, she seems like she's in another world. First day on the job? Doesn't want to be there? Would rather be making out with her boyfriend? Any of the above.
Well, I watch her for a while. She appears to be going through the motions. I check the recent outcomes on the overhead "washboard". I sense a pattern. She's not spinning the wheel while the game is idle.
What I sense is that she's becoming very predictable; that's the last thing casinos want. They've got the edge. Random...random...random...
Well, I take a shot and I quadrant her. I divide the wheel into fours. I cover numbers in one or two quadrants based on her previous spin outcomes. She doesn't let me down. I nail single-number hits on my first two tries. I then double-up. Triple-up. I'm making money. Is this luck? You might be tempted to say that; yet, I feel there is a method to my madness. I'm making serious money in a very short span of time.
Just then, out of the blue. Unexpectedly. The pit boss walks over to her; she's being replaced. Did the pit boss or eye-in-sky sense something. Right then and there I knew the jig was up. I left with a handsome return. But I was chagrined at the fact that I knew this was a once a blue moon opportunity that I failed to take full advantage of.
"The Picture Frame"
My friend "Bucko" Bob and I are having breakfast at the Foxwoods buffet. We both crave and need action even while we eating breakfast. We decide to try a keno gimmick we never tried before; it's called "The Picture Frame".
"The Picture Frame" is self-explanatory. What you're trying to do is to have numbers come up that are on the edge of the 80-number keno layout, thus the name, "Picture Frame."
Well, I knew we were on to something when the first two of the twenty numbers to be called came out on the edge. Then, incredibly, more an more edge-like numbers were coming up on the screen. "Bucko" is looking at me like we just won the lottery. Not quite. Yet, when that game ends, we made enough to easily pay for our breakfast. If we could have nailed one or two more numbers... Who knows, we could have been talking about a tax ticket.
Don't let it ever be said that you can't make money while simply eating breakfast.
"Spin Till You Win"
I will state at the outset that I'm not a big slots player. I rarely play them when I go to a casino. Yet, that morning, I was with my friend "Bucko". He tells me on the way to the casino that when he was playing slots the previous week, he noticed one or two machines near the buffet area that were repeatedly getting hit.
As I recall, I said, "Let's give it a try." I sat down in front of a dollar "Spin Till You Win" machine. I had never played this machine before in my life. As I remember, the machine had a symbol, that when landed on it, it would cause that reel to spin endlessly. In fact, sometimes it would spin, stop, and then start spinning again.
Well, wouldn't you know it, I hit a jackpot (I'm glad I put two silver dollars in). I believe three clowns came up. End result: $500. The attendant came by. She told me to put a coin in and press the button (casino policy) and then she handed me five "Benjies". After I tipped her, I gave "Bucko" the rest of my dollar coins as a "finder's fee".
"What Number Is Coming Up Next?"
I couldn't believe my ears. I'm shooti9ng craps in the Pequot wing of Foxwoods. I'm having a very good roll. I'm happy. Everyone around the table is happy. Like the TV ad for mail-order shoes. Happy...happy...happy.
Well, it's at this time, after I rolled about fifteen straight that this guy to my right asks, "What number is coming up next?" I just looked at him. In my mind I'm thinking, "You gotta be kidding me. If I knew that..."
As I think back, I didn't pull a Babe Ruth and point to centerfield and then hit a home run, yet I do remember my next toss was a number. In the end, I made some decent money for my own account and many others who were at the table. But as far as telling you what number will up on the dice. No way.
"My Son's Telepathy"
It's the early 1990s. my wife, my daughter, my son and I embarked on a trip to Aruba. We're staying at a place called "The Mill." They don't have a casino, yet there are nearby hotel/casinos on the Palm Coast.
Well, my son and I check one out. At the time, he's not quite old enough to play table games, but I give him money to play the slots.
In the meantime, I decide to play roulette. No luck. Just then, my son comes over. "How ya doin, Dad?" "Not well, Rob, not well at all," I say. My son sits down next to me. As the dealer is about to spin, my son whispers, "black, Dad, black!" I put ten chips on black. Bingo!
Well, this goes on for five straight spins. It's a scene out of the card-counting ways of Dustin Hoffman at the blackjack table in Vegas in the movie: The Rain Man."
In the end, I got healthy quickly thanks to my son's luck, or was it his ESP?