johnhannibalsmith
03-05-2013, 11:02 PM
While I play the role of hostile citizen that laments and fumes over all things political, my only real complaints are ones that seem fairly trivial, but I think are probably clear proof that Boxcard is absolutely right about the impending end of times. In no particular order, the things I see on television that send me into a wild rant even if nobody is around to enjoy my demonstration:
1) Don't even know which satanic insurance company has the audacity to air this commercial - nonstop I may add - but the one where everybody in the commercial is destroying their vehicles by doing the most idiotic, negligent things a person can dream up. They open doors into traffic and get it tore off, they crash the bicycle rack into the garage and destroy everything, they trim tree branches directly above the vehicle and of course, destroy the car. They think that you can park a car on a ferry with two wheels on the ferry and two on the dock.
How the **** do these complete shit for brain drivers even keep a license, much less have a friendly agent there to write them a check? This is what it has come to? We all have to carry insurance not in case something totally unforseen happens, but so that we can absolve ourselves of any responsibility for using earthworm caliber brain function and destroying our property?
I don't know who pushes that crap and don't care because I don't think I want any part of a group that is attracting clients by appealing to those that shouldn't be allowed to leave the house at all. The only reason a friendly agent should be showing up at the house is to drop off the refund check if your policy was paid in advance, because you're dropped you bloody idiot.
2) Every commercial for some drug that features a "doctor" and then a "patient" talking about his personal experience with this life altering chemical. Hey, I get it, these guys are actors and we're supposed to suspend all of obvious reality and pretend that he's an actual patient and is offering up good advice.
Now, here's the problem. It's hard enough for me to watch these tedious heart-to-heart conversations with the actor and the television audience and keep a straight face. But then, invariably buried in the script, someone made the conscious decision to have the "patient" we are supposed to empathize with make a comment about how he or she "had a talk with my health care professional".
Your 'health care professional'? What? Who the **** ever says that? A ninety second commercial with all sorts of imagery and "straight talk" that's supposed to really draw you in to buying the whole counterfeit context and then they hit you with the "health care professional" line with a straight face. I have no idea what a "health care professional" is, but I don't plan on finding out what it is in order to talk to one about your miracle drug with suicide, death, and mass murder as side effects. I'll go see a doctor if I want to talk about something like this.
3) Discover card commercials. Look, I got it. Only women can figure out how to pay a bill and men are only there to completely botch up every simple task in life. I shouldn't single out Discover because this applies to any number of recent promos, but Discover's whole new marketing strategy is to appeal to people that may just accidentally (sure...) forget to make a payment on time. OF course, the easiest way to do this is to make it seem like Ms. Jones surely would have paid the bill three weeks ago, but she let her husband take care of it just this once... and we all know how incapable men are of managing finances (which may be partially true if you are being extorted by Discover).
Just once I'd like to see an interracial couple in one of these commercials and see if it's still kosher to make the black husband into a completely irresponsible, inattentive scofflaw that needs his nerdy, nearly asexual looking, square rimmed glasses sporting liberated woman to do all the thinking for him. It's bad enough when everyone claims to hate stereotypes, but then you have those same people inventing new ones just because the stereotype mocks a group of people that don't necessarily see every slap in the face to their gender and race, on the merit of their genders and race, as something to turn into a Facebook/Twitter campaign to crush the offending company.
Quite honestly, I can't believe that this crap resonates with many people at all and I don't understand the concept. I get trying to sell mops and brooms and dishsoap by claiming "it's so easy, even your bum of a husband can do some chores", but come on, this one doesn't even make much sense.
JHC, the commercial just came on as I was typing this. :lol:
1) Don't even know which satanic insurance company has the audacity to air this commercial - nonstop I may add - but the one where everybody in the commercial is destroying their vehicles by doing the most idiotic, negligent things a person can dream up. They open doors into traffic and get it tore off, they crash the bicycle rack into the garage and destroy everything, they trim tree branches directly above the vehicle and of course, destroy the car. They think that you can park a car on a ferry with two wheels on the ferry and two on the dock.
How the **** do these complete shit for brain drivers even keep a license, much less have a friendly agent there to write them a check? This is what it has come to? We all have to carry insurance not in case something totally unforseen happens, but so that we can absolve ourselves of any responsibility for using earthworm caliber brain function and destroying our property?
I don't know who pushes that crap and don't care because I don't think I want any part of a group that is attracting clients by appealing to those that shouldn't be allowed to leave the house at all. The only reason a friendly agent should be showing up at the house is to drop off the refund check if your policy was paid in advance, because you're dropped you bloody idiot.
2) Every commercial for some drug that features a "doctor" and then a "patient" talking about his personal experience with this life altering chemical. Hey, I get it, these guys are actors and we're supposed to suspend all of obvious reality and pretend that he's an actual patient and is offering up good advice.
Now, here's the problem. It's hard enough for me to watch these tedious heart-to-heart conversations with the actor and the television audience and keep a straight face. But then, invariably buried in the script, someone made the conscious decision to have the "patient" we are supposed to empathize with make a comment about how he or she "had a talk with my health care professional".
Your 'health care professional'? What? Who the **** ever says that? A ninety second commercial with all sorts of imagery and "straight talk" that's supposed to really draw you in to buying the whole counterfeit context and then they hit you with the "health care professional" line with a straight face. I have no idea what a "health care professional" is, but I don't plan on finding out what it is in order to talk to one about your miracle drug with suicide, death, and mass murder as side effects. I'll go see a doctor if I want to talk about something like this.
3) Discover card commercials. Look, I got it. Only women can figure out how to pay a bill and men are only there to completely botch up every simple task in life. I shouldn't single out Discover because this applies to any number of recent promos, but Discover's whole new marketing strategy is to appeal to people that may just accidentally (sure...) forget to make a payment on time. OF course, the easiest way to do this is to make it seem like Ms. Jones surely would have paid the bill three weeks ago, but she let her husband take care of it just this once... and we all know how incapable men are of managing finances (which may be partially true if you are being extorted by Discover).
Just once I'd like to see an interracial couple in one of these commercials and see if it's still kosher to make the black husband into a completely irresponsible, inattentive scofflaw that needs his nerdy, nearly asexual looking, square rimmed glasses sporting liberated woman to do all the thinking for him. It's bad enough when everyone claims to hate stereotypes, but then you have those same people inventing new ones just because the stereotype mocks a group of people that don't necessarily see every slap in the face to their gender and race, on the merit of their genders and race, as something to turn into a Facebook/Twitter campaign to crush the offending company.
Quite honestly, I can't believe that this crap resonates with many people at all and I don't understand the concept. I get trying to sell mops and brooms and dishsoap by claiming "it's so easy, even your bum of a husband can do some chores", but come on, this one doesn't even make much sense.
JHC, the commercial just came on as I was typing this. :lol: